Rhiannon's Paranormally Romantic Bits & Pieces

Bound to Please Nipple Clamps

2011-12-30T16:37:00.002-05:00

Here is a product from GV that isn't exactly new to me. This particular pair is new, though, and I quite enjoyed playing with them until I was comfortable wearing them without feeling that icky going-to-the-boobie-doctor feeling.

I give a word of caution when using any type of nipple clamps...toy with them before you wear them for the first time with a partner. Reason being, sometimes they slip off and wiggle around or get too tight and you don't want that to happen when you want to look sexy for your sexy time with your sexy time partners...lol...

Now, the fun stuff. I enjoyed these clamps. They're affordable, simple, but you can get them in two colors (in the photo above) so that you can match them up with whatever else you'll be wearing or toying around with. Or you could buy both colors and mix match them -- if you're into that sorta thing -- ... Whatever you're into, these will work.

I enjoyed the clamps, but in honesty prefer my nips to be free for fondling and playing around. However, I didn't have a problem with adjusting the clamps to fit and I actually had a really great time playing around with them. My significant other sort of enjoyed them, too.

To top it all off, they don't pinch off your nipples and that's a plus (because I'm really attached to mine and my partner seems to think they're pretty great, too).

Thumbs up from me.

Rhiannon's Rating: <3 <3 <3

Rhiannon's Tips & Suggestions: Remember...you might have to fiddle with them a bit before you can make them fit your nipples correctly, so take your time and have a light hearted laugh about it if they slip off a time or two before you get the clamps adjusted correctly :)

Blossom Organics Pure Pleasure Arousal Gel

2011-12-30T16:28:00.000-05:00

Good Vibrations has brought me a product that I truly enjoy and have taken my sweet old time to review (and with good reason, I promise...apologies for my absence of late!).

This gel is perfect for a number of things. I've used it in a number of ways and will continue to use it in even more creative ways...until I run out and have to buy more!

I began with just using a small dollop for clitoral stimulation. Great for both manual stimulation during self or couple play or while having sex in any position that you may choose. I used it on my nipples, too...until I realized that it probably doesn't taste very good and I like my nipples to be sucked, quite frankly, so I won't be doing that again unless I'm alone.

I have found, though, that this product works particularly great with a bullet toy or other vibrator and that it's awesome for masturbation purposes altogether. I even used it in the shower to see if the water would wash the awesome tingling sensation away too easy. To my wonder, it didn't!

I do not suggest using this if you plan on using someone's mouth as a toy (lol). It's not to eat! I can imagine that no one wants a tingly Preparation H feeling on their tongue when they dive into your vagina and get a mouthful of this stuff. It's probably has less of a sensation than Preparation H would and I'm using the horrible stuff as just an example, but I don't want to find out and I don't want anyone else to find out either. On the plus side, if you do get it in your mouth, it's by Blossom Organics so it's ORGANIC and won't turn your tongue polka dotted, so an accident or two is definitely permitable (just not suggested unless your partner simply doesn't mind it).

Rhiannon's Rating: <3 <3 <3 <3 Four hearts!

Rhiannon's Tips & Suggestions: Use this toy when you wanna go on an amazing cock ride with an amazing cock ring as an accomplice :) Thank me later.

Ripples Waterproof Vibrator

2011-10-10T19:01:00.000-04:00

This vibrator from Good Vibrations is pretty neat. It's small so you can take it wherever you want to take it, but good things sometimes come in small packages.

It's got some powerful vibrations for such a small toy, but not overpoweringly so. It has a nice feel to it, a nice texture, nice weight, etc. It's one of those toys that just feel right in your hand. Also, it feels good with lube!

My experience with it was that it was perfect for a long shower, since its waterproof. Solo play would be my suggestion, but it is easily a fun toy for playing with a partner. It's easy to clean, easy to manage, and not too slippery when your hands are too wet to hold onto some toys.

It comes with its own case, too, and I always love that about toys.

On the flip side of things, there is nothing absolutely spectacular about this toy and there are a million other toys that can do the absolute same thing it does. However, not all of those toys have their own storage case, so that would be a deciding factor for me in a shop. I'd rather buy a toy that has a protective case than one that I'm going to have to scrounge around for a case for.

Rhiannon's Rating: <3 <3 <3 Three hearts :)

Rhiannon's Tips & Suggestions: This toy is great for beginners. It's easy to figure out. It's small. It's quiet and it doesn't overpower the senses.

Stallion Vibrating Thigh Harness

2011-10-10T18:50:00.000-04:00

There are about a million different reasons why I like this particular harness from Good Vibrations.

#1- You can use any dildo you want with it. Even most of the big boys. The dildo fits easily into the little metal ring and it always looks snazzy there.

#2- The vibrating bullet that fits into a little pouch on the harness is great, but if it's not your cup of tea, you can remove it or replace it with a small vibe that you like.

#3- You don't even have to use the harness with someone's thigh. You can use it around a pillow or anywhere else that you can get it to stay put.

#4- I like things that are a little different and this product is definitely a little different.

I used the harness in a few different ways. I tried it with a few different dildos, a few different settings, and on a thigh, a pillow, an entire mound of pillows, and on a small stool. Yup. I took your average everyday footstool, covered it in a cushiony cloth, put a small pillow on top, then strapped the harness to it. This, my friends, is how you make your very own, homemade, toy mount.

Rhiannon's Rating: <3 <3 <3 <3 Four hearts!

Rhiannon's Tips and Suggestions: Use this toy however you see fit, but regardless of the toy you use with it, make sure you use good lube. Take care not to strap it too tightly around your partner's leg or there may be chafing.

Wet Synergy Lubricant

2011-09-14T20:03:00.003-04:00

There are a million reasons why I love the Wet Synergy Lubricant that I got from Good Vibes.

If you've never read any of my reviews before, you won't know that I like lubes that just do their jobs and nothing else. I don't want anything fancy for the majority of the time. I just want lube!

This lubricant does just what it's supposed to. It lubricates. It's not sticky, smelly, or gross. It doesn't make your skin burn or itch or turn funky colors. It just lubricates your body, wherever you decide to put it, so that you can play to your little heart's desires without worrying over having to relube a million times because it also lasts quite a while.

I actually used this lube a million times before I wrote this review because sometimes I might try something and love it but ten days and fifty uses later, I might decide that it sucks. This didn't happen with this lube, so it's certainly a product that I will buy again in the future.

Also, I'd like to add that the bottle is a nice shape and it's not difficult to squirt the lube itself out into your hand or wherever you want to squirt it. That's always something I look at when I buy lube.

Rhiannon's Ratings: <3 <3 <3 <3 Four hearts!

Pocket Rocket Vibrator

2011-09-14T19:57:00.002-04:00

I was skeptical about the Pocket Rocket. To begin this review, I'll tell you why I was a little bit put off by it first.

The toy is pretty small and is generally a toy that I would suggest for beginners and I'm not what you would call a beginner. As a matter of fact, if the toy itself doesn't have an intensity level of "blow your freakin head right off," I won't even consider it. However, I had heard good things about this toy so I gave it a shot.

I also was a bit skeptical because it's pink. I'm not a fan of pink, but I looked over it.

Now, I'll tell you my thoughts.

There's a removable cover over the vibrating tip of this toy that, at first glance, you would think only served the purpose of a cap. This assumption is very wrong. The removable plastic tip provides a different sensation than the studded end of the toy, and I found that I enjoyed both sensations equally and for different purposes.

This toy is quite small. I love small toys that do what they're supposed to do. If it's small, you can take it places--and that's a plus if you travel. I didn't like, however, that it's somewhat difficult for me to hold onto. I'm not sure why this is because other small toys didn't pose this problem for me in the past. Perhaps it is hard for me to hold onto because I've moved along to bigger toys for the majority of my play times. Perhaps not.

The sensations that this toy give are awesome and there's no disputing that fact. As long as you're not expecting gigantic fireworks from this toy, you're good to go.

In my own personal use, I've found that coupling this toy with other toys and different lubes works quite a bit better than using it alone with no other toys. I paired my Pocket Rocket with a dildo, some lube that I also got from Good Vibrations in the same shipment, and two other small vibrators (that I dug out from the bottom of my toy box because they haven't been used regularly for quite some time!) so that I could switch them out to have a bigger variety of sensations during my play. I also used it with a jelly sleeve, and that seemed to really work well for me because I'm a sucker for jelly sleeves.

Rhiannon's Tips & Suggestions: Use this toy alone or with a partner. HOWEVER, make sure you're nice and lubed up because using a toy down there without proper lube is a proper bitch!

Rhiannon's Rating: <3 <3 <3 Three hearts!

16th Century Sex and Masturbation

2011-09-04T16:03:00.000-04:00

: Artwork by my talented friend, Danny Kelly

Recently I've been inundated with vampire work- more so than usual. Under normal circumstances that would thrill me to no end, being that I'm a vampire author and very much obsessed with them (Check out my article, Mama's Obsessions, for proof!). Lately, though, it's been vampire mania at my house because of the new book I'm writing about Elizabeth Bathory. Um, and by the way, that woman was really crazy. Like, straight jacket crazy.
I started researching and found that not only were there romances involved, several in fact, but Bathory was also one of the first recorded bisexual women in history. That means that there is LGBT sex involved, too. As a matter of fact, Bathory didn't just have a few moments here and there with other women, she had a lover/girlfriend towards the final years of her life.

As a quick note, though, her girlfriend helped her torture and kill over 600 young, female virgins so that she could bathe in and drink their blood because she thought it would make her look younger. See. I told you she was straight jacket crazy.

The odd thing is that I really love her story. Not because she was such a great lady, she totally wasn't, but because she was so terrible and she was part of the influence over Bram Stoker's Dracula. The frustration I'm having is the result of the crazy research I've done and the things that I've discovered.
All other thoughts aside, researching about her life in Transylvania between the late sixteenth and early seventeenth centuries has made me think about how far we've all come. Not just the LGBT community, but everyone. I think that in this day and age people sometimes forget that just a few hundred years ago, women were property. Men were owners. Women were forced to submit. Men were to be dominant. Given those sad facts, it makes me wonder how a marriage (especially arranged ones), in that time, would have worked if the husband loved to be submissive and the wife loved to be dominant? Did they switch roles when in public or did they wind up totally miserable for their entire lives? And what if a very dominant male was married off to a very dominant female? What would happen to a woman who was caught having a romantic relationship with another woman? Was it just frowned upon or were they punished for it? Bathory never was (neither was her very openly bisexual aunt Klara) but that doesn't mean that other women, of lower financial ranks, were not punished or burnt at the stake for witch craft.
I think that her good old Aunt Klara probably had it made. She was openly bisexual, but wealthy enough that no one could do anything to her. After all, the Bathory family pretty much were the sixteenth century versions of today's Kennedy family. Also, Klara had a constant flow of ladies coming in and out of her castle. I think that probably meant that it was very possible that she would take in those with her "affliction" and give them a place to hide away or relax so that maybe they didn't feel so odd. Back then, if your sexual orientation was anything other than straight, there were serious consequences, as I've stated before. Clergy, as well as the rest of society, looked at things like masturbation and homosexuality as some sort of illness that had to be medically treated, though I'm pretty sure that the afflicted probably didn't feel that way.
Masturbation itself in those times was considered a very dirty, wrong, horrible thing that meant that the masturbator needed to be cured of their deviance immediately. Chastity belts were created for both sexes to wear if they were caught. Iron and other metals were used to create these horrible contraptions. It was thought, back then, that if a man was masturbating and spilled his seed anywhere other than inside of a woman's vagina, it was wasted and that his supply would run out if he wasn't careful. They really thought that a man was only equipped with so much semen to last his entire life and similar thoughts pertained to a woman's body also.

: I'll bet those chafe...

Punishments for homosexuality and masturbation ranged from moderate (scolding, chastity belts, etc) to severe (being tried for witch craft, being sent to a convent, chastity belts, and sometimes even torture or death). If those same rules still applied, how many of us would be alive right now? I'd have been tried for witch craft by the time I was about fifteen. Maybe sooner! Um, and I have a feeling that many of my male friends would have ran completely, slap out of semen by now, too.
Being that it's National Masturbation Month, I wanted to share some of this information with Good Vibrations readers because I was thinking that it may give you a whole new appreciation for masturbation. A few centuries ago, if you were masturbating (and even if you didn't get caught), you would be doing it with the complex that it was wrong and horrible and that you were wasting good semen or wasting good...whatever else. That had to give men and women both a serious mental kick in the pants!
If you're of any sexual orientation other than straight, you can celebrate that, too. A few hundred years ago, a lesbian couple couldn't be proud to be lesbians for fear of chastity belts and beheading. Sure, there are still raging homophobes out there, but I'm very well convinced that some of them just don't realize that two women or two men can love each other and make love to each other and that it's okay to have those feelings. Sometimes a little education goes a long way. Then again, sometimes you're wasting your breath, but that's okay, too. You can't educate the entire world in a week, and even if you could, not everyone is always going to be willing to listen. However, if you are happy, that's pretty much all that matters, in my opinion.

: I'll take this over a chastity belt fashioned and welded by the village idiot any day...

I guess this means that we can raise a toast to declaring open season on masturbation, sex with a same-sex partner, and the awesome feeling that you get when you know you can do it without the fear of wearing a horrible metal chastity belt (unless you like that sorta thing) or having your head lopped off, and I'm pretty attached to mine. It's a great feeling to know that we have come from a world where masturbation and homosexuality were very much frowned upon and punishable by death (in some cases) to a world where we are, for the most part, free to do whatever we really want to do. I'll never, ever, under any circumstances, take my right to masturbate freely in my own home for granted, ever, ever again. We have gone from incredibly uncomfortable chastity belts that were welded by the village idiot to really awesome vibrators like the G-Twist, my personal favorite. History can really humble a person, especially where sex practices are concerned.
Happy 16th Century Self-Love Fucking!

This article first appeared on Good Vibrations Magazine :)

Velvet Rhinestone Vibe

2011-08-09T21:09:00.000-04:00

I have to be completely honest about this toy. The Velvet Rhinestone Vibe from Good Vibrations is pleasing to the eye and senses, but I would recommend this for beginners and for times when you just want something to help you relax, but not something to necessarily bring you gigantic orgasms.

It feels nice against my skin, and that's a plus. I always like things that feel good. I don't like things that are too hard or too soft. I want something smooth sometimes, and this toy fits the bill for that much. The rhinestones on the end make for some really fun texture play, and the toy is small ( four inches tall and 1 and 1/4 inches around) so you can pack it in a purse or overnight bag and take it to wherever you're going if you wish. It doesn't take up very much room in a toy box, and for me, that's a big thing! My toy box is pretty much full and I'm thinking I may need a bigger one soon to make room for all my awesome toys.

Another really great way to use this toy is to use it with a partner when you're introducing them to toy play if it's their first time. The vibrations aren't so strong that it might scare them off or turn them away from the experience and since the vibrator itself is pretty, that may help ease them into the acts as well.

This vibrator makes an awesome "helper" for cunnilingus. While you're eating someone out or they're eating you out or both, enlist the help of this vibe to stimulate her clitoris while your mouth or fingers (or both lol) do the rest. Couple the vibe with a vibrating tongue ring, and you've got a screaming orgasm cumming right up!

Rhiannon's Rating: <3 <3 <3 Three hearts!

Rhiannon's Tips & Suggestions: Eat some pussy. No, wait! Better yet, buy the Going Down Kit and use the vibe with the vibrating tongue ring and the Cherry Vanilla Sliquid lube while watching the DVD and listening to how awesome Carol Queen is. THEN, eat some pussy-but do it expertly!

The Rippler

2011-08-09T20:52:00.000-04:00

Generally speaking, when I think about ways to spend the extra sixty bucks in my wallet, I think in terms of piercings, books, and sex toys. With sixty dollars, I could get two new piercings with a discount from my piercers. I could also buy approximately a million used books from my favorite online book retailer. Or I could buy the Rippler Silicone Dildo from Good Vibrations and fuck myself silly with it.

Decisions, decisions!

All joking and horrid humor aside, the Rippler confused me at first. I couldn't decide if I should use a lot of lube or a little bit. I couldn't decide if I wanted to use it by myself or with someone. I couldn't decide if I wanted to use it while lying on my back or if I wanted to stick it to the wall and back into it doggystyle. BUT, that is the beauty of this particular toy. It makes you consider your options-or at least that's the affect it gave me.

What I found was that the Rippler is awesome every which way but loose (ha!). I have had little experience with non-vibrating phalluses thus far but am enjoying them quite a bit these days.

With the Rippler I decided to take things slowly because he's a big fella. He is 7 and 1/4 inches long and 1 and 7/8 inches around. This means that you should probably use a little more lube than what you would normally use for your toys and play sessions. I always recommend Please Liquid Lubricant because it does what it's intended to do and doesn't smell like bug spray or your grandma's perfume. Another option for lube would be Please Gel Lubricant because it's just like the liquid lube except a little thicker and works great for anal sex, too.

Other than being big, the Rippler has a really great shape and texture to it. The name says it all. The dildo is rippled! Mine is metallic purple-which I absolutely love-but, the Rippler also comes in emerald green and black. It has a rather realistic head that even sports a tiny little hole at the top. There's a wide base at the bottom, so the Rippler can also be enjoyed anally.

Warning: If you choose to use this dildo for anal play, use more lube (THICK lube) and be careful.

I ended up using the Rippler in many, many different ways. The sky is the limit. You can use it with a harness, with or without a partner, coupled with other toys for more fun, and if you really want to you can just sit there and stare at it because it's very pleasing to the eye, too!

Rhiannon's Rating : <3 <3 <3 <3 < --- Four and a half hearts!

Rhiannon's Tips & Suggestions: Since the Rippler has a slight curve, it's works great if you stick it to the wall and do it doggystyle ;)

Aye, Aye, Captain!

2011-07-25T18:20:00.000-04:00

Typically I use the photos straight from Good Vibes, but this time I couldn't because my computer wouldn't cooperate...So I took this one at my house on top of my washing machine...lol.

First thing's first. The Captain dildo from Good Vibrations is the very first non-vibrating phallus I've ever owned and have ever been remotely interested in, and there are a lot of reasons for that. Number one-I had no interest whatsoever in a sex toy that didn't vibrate because it's the vibrations and sensations that I got from vibrators that sucked me into buying and collecting toys in the first place. What would I need with a dick that I can't plug in/turn on/vibrate on?

As it turns out, there are plenty of things...Starting with hitting my g-spot and ending somewhere in Narnia, over the rainbow, and deep within the squirting realm of Happyland. Thank you very much, makers of silicone...

The first thing I noticed about our dear Captain is his size. He's a big boy. Treat him as such. Lots of lube and lots of care go into a night with him. I haven't quite had mine for a week yet and I've already nicknamed him Captain Jack and we have quite a nice rapport going on between us. That being said, I sneered at Captain when I first opened the package because I was wondering what on earth I was going to do with something so big because I generally buy smaller toys.

But, let the record show that I had no trouble whatsoever finding many, many uses for Captain Jack--and it didn't take me long, either.

Captain (Jack) is easy to clean. I use Before & After spray cleaner on mine and also anti-bacterial soap and water, too. I've used multiple different lubes with him, too. Just make sure that you dry it off really well before you put it back in its box and store it.

The Captain dildo has a really nice wide base at the bottom so that you can use it in a harness or with a toy mount or you can even stick it to a chair, the floor, the wall, the toilet seat, the sink, the edge of your tub, or whatever surface you want to and go to town with it. Works well with folding chairs, by the way.

Also, Captain has veins! You can twist the dildo around and roll it every which way, and when you do, those veins and different little bumps on the shaft feel really nice. And the contours of the head and around the head area are really really nice, too. I found quite quickly that if tilted just right, I can hit my g-spot...oh, dear GAWD, is it nice! Just remember that when you play with Captain, make sure you lube him up quite well. As I have said earlier, he's a big boy.

Rhiannon's Rating: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 FIVE hearts :) I don't think I've given that many hearts to a lot of toys that I've reviewed.....

Rhiannon's Tips & Suggestions: For the third time, he's a BIG boy. Lube him up just right and then go to town. If you're not used to such a big toy you should try laying on your back first. Then, when you feel gutsy enough, stick the Captain to a chair and lower yourself down onto him (slowly, please!) and ride the Captain until you've made yourself absolutely mad with orgasm...lol...

"Toygasms" book review

2011-07-21T18:13:00.000-04:00

Dr. Sadie Allison's book "Toygasms" is an excellent reference for those who are new to toys and their uses. However, being the book lover that I am, I can't honestly say that if given a choice between this pocket reference and a larger, longer, more colorful book I'd chose "Toygasms."

We'll start with the good points.

The book highlights many thoughts and issues that newbie toy users may encounter. Lube, condoms with or without toys, armchair sex (oh, I thought this was a really great addition to the book), the difference between a dildo and a vibrator, how to introduce toy use with a partner...All of these topics in the book struck interest with me because these are all topics that I, myself, have at one time or another had questions about or was curious over.

Also, I thought it was really great how the author went over different types of toys. There is an entire world of sex toys and pleasure objects out there on the market that sometimes you don't know what on earth they are until you ask someone else. Toy boxes and packages sometimes aren't as clear as to the uses of the toy inside as they should be. This, in my opinion, is probably why books about toys are so popular and why they are a very good addition to anyone's home library.

I also really loved the fact that the author took plenty of time to explain different textures used to manufacture toys and described to the reader what they felt like and what the pros and cons were. Positions that couples and solo toy users can use were also included, and I think I may have learned a thing or two--which is shocking because I'm a well seasoned toy user in both solo play and partner play.

There are things missing in this book, though. I thought that it was very well written and informative to a point, but I think that the book could have been formatted a bit differently. This is why I say that the book is a great pocket reference for newbies, but for someone who is used to toys and knows their way around a toy shop, like Good Vibrations, a bigger, longer, more colorful book would be better.

I would have loved to have seen the pictures, or at least some of them, in color. Also, it would have been beneficial for someone new to toy use to have more in depth descriptions of certain toys and their uses.

Rhiannon's Rating: <3 <3 <3

Tips & Suggestions: This book is great for someone who has never seen a toy before. For those of us who know our way around a toy shop, not so much.

Squirts you...Lube shooters are fun!

2011-07-01T17:09:00.000-04:00

FINALLY, I got the opportunity to review lube shooters from Good Vibrations. These little toys are sooo much fun and very helpful in so many situations.

First off, I'll tell you that I began inspecting these little gadgets with a squirt-gun loving mentality because, let's face it, I can make just about any inanimate object magically turn into a child's toy. These toys, however, are not meant for children, but they are a lot of fun. But, they're not only for fun and games. There is actually a really great reason why someone invented a toy that would shoot lube.

See, if you're into anal play, getting the lube to go where it needs to go without a moment of awkward silence and sheet shimmying is probably not going to happen. Sure, it can be very tastefully done, but still somewhat awkward for most of us. If you have a lube shooter, you can just put the lube in the shooter, push it into the desired area, and release...then you've got your anus covered-er, filled.

Special note, however: Make sure you lube the outside of the shooter (around the tip) before you pull the trigger, so to speak.

You can also use this for non-anal play. I've found that a round of "I'll bet I can shoot cherry vanilla lube right across your lips!" on top of the covers is a really great way to say I wanna fuck. Ya know, for those light hearted moments.

If you're one who doesn't enjoy having your hands covered in lube, this is also a good alternative to squirting lube out of bottles and tubes. It's a clean way to distribute the lubrication of your choice wherever you want it to go. Also, the shooters are small and fit anywhere you need them to. They're easy to clean. They're inexpensive ($8 for three of them), and the pack comes with more than one, so you can use a few different kinds of lubes at once without having to stop and wash a shooter before you refill it during one sex session.

Rhiannon's Ratings: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 Five hearts for preventative measures! If you don't properly lube during anal sex, there can be mild to severe discomfort...and that's just not fun!

Rhiannon's Tips & Suggestions: buy these for anal sex if you like the backdoor play. They're very very very helpful! You can use them with dildos and other toys, too :)

Aaaarrrrrr you gonna get one of these, or what?

2011-06-08T20:43:00.000-04:00

Most recently I got the Pirates Pendant Vibrator from Good Vibrations and I just have one quick thing to say...

This thing is, like, ten shades of AWESOME.

I absolutely love jewelry, and this pendant is really great for a number of reasons. For one thing, it's a necklace that doubles as a toy. Where on earth could you go wrong with that? It's also very easy to clean, the batteries are very easy to change, and it's so small that you can fit it just about anywhere for traveling if you don't want to just wear it--and if you just wear it, no one will know what it is. It's like having your own little dirty secret right there in plain sight.

The pendant has pulsing speeds, non-pulsing options, and has a button right on top of it that you push to turn it on and off. The little bullet style vibe comes in either black or white, and it has little skulls and things all over it, which really makes for some awesome texture play. The speeds are awesome to toy with and it really gets the job done!

You can use the necklace part in your play also. Take the necklace off and the necklace can be used for a number of fun things, as long as you can use your imagination. There are a lot of fun scenarios you can play out with this pirate booty, too. Bury it deep in a treasure chest and make your lover find it. Don't forget to say Aaaarrrrgggghhhh when they get too close to the right spots! Once found, bury it again in a new place somewhere. Under a pillow case? Under the bed? Between your thighs? Get creative and go with the theme.

Rhiannon's Rating: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 Five hearts!

Rhiannon's Tips & Suggestions: Use this pendant alone or with a partner, with a good lube, and you can use it for some really creative pirate role play!

Before & After Antibacterial Toy Cleaner

2011-05-26T18:44:00.000-04:00

I got this stuff about a week ago from Good Vibrations, and I'm so impressed already! It smells so good! It's amazing that something antibacterial could smell so good and also serve its purpose, but this stuff really does.

It comes in a spray bottle (Like the kind with a pump spray) and is small enough to fit in a toy box or suitcase if need be. The bottle holds eight ounces, and I think that a little bit really lasts because it does what it is supposed to do without leaving a residue or dripping all over the place before you get to wipe it off.

If you only have one toy, only have a few, or if you're like me and have so many that you can't keep up with when you used which one last, this stuff is a very good investment.

The way you use this is easy. You spray to apply, wipe off. Easy. It works great. It cleans away lubes (both natural and bottled lol) and it keeps your toys smelling and shining great!

Rhiannon's Rating: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Rhiannons Tips & Suggestions: Use this stuff before and after you play with your favorite toys. Don't spray it in your eye. If you do, you won't go blind and there won't be any damage later, but it won't feel good...and I know this from experience!

Roll out the red carpet....here comes Your Highness....

2011-05-26T18:34:00.000-04:00

My latest new toy is the Your Highness Vibrating Dildo. The thing is awesome!

The picture that you see of it on the website doesn't do it justice, so I took my own picture and that's the one I'd rather share with you because it shows a lot more. The blue silicone that the dildo is made out of is sorta swirly and really, really nice to look at. Personally, if something is entering my body (either anally, orally, or vaginally) it had better be nice to look at! This King of Kings does that for me and much more.

It does have a good base, and you can see it on the picture from Good Vibrations, so I'll share that, too.

The only grievance I had with this toy is that it took me an eternity to get the package open. This isn't because the package is too hard to open, though. It's because I was having a seriously dense moment.

The little bumps and ridges in this dildo (love beads? lol) are absolutely wonderful. The vibration from the vibrator that fits inside is about a medium. It's not too powerful but it's enough. However, I didn't want this dildo for the vibrations. I wanted it for the penetration.

You can use this royal little guy anally or vaginally. It's safe for both. You can use it in a harness also. I do suggest that you use a little lube with it, as I suggest with most toys. I also suggest that you don't dry it off with a terry cloth towel because little fuzzies will stick to it after you wash it. Then it gets fuzzy. Fuzzy dildos are not fun...lol.

Rhiannon's Rating: <3 <3 <3 <3 Four hearts!

Rhiannon's Tips & Suggestions: I would suggest using your imagination with this toy. It's absolutely wonderful in so many ways. It's great when you just want to get a good fuck and it's great if you want to tease a bit first. As said, it's anal sex safe and easy to clean. It's not absolutely huge, so you could fit it into an over night bag if you wanted to. Use this thing alone or with a partner. Doesn't matter. JUST USE IT! :)

Guest Blogger, Morgan Fox!

2011-04-26T14:59:00.001-04:00

Today my blogger guest is author, Morgan Fox. Her new book has been released today, and she is going to share a bit about writing, a bit about the new book, and a bit more! Thank you, Morgan, for coming over!

Writing paranormal romance is one of the most enjoyable experiences I've ever had in my life . For me, creating new worlds where anything is possible is so much more fun that the norm of contemporary. If I can see it on the news or experience it for myself, then I'm not interested. Give me a sexy, brooding, six-foot-six immortal warrior, Lycan or Vampire and I'm all set. Just thinking about these sexy men makes my pulse pound a little faster and harder.

I've written about vampires, demons, angels, immortal warriors, even dragons, but never werewolves and it wasn't until I had lunch with Shayla Black and discussed writing paranormal erotica romance that I ever considered doing so. On my way home that sunny day, I envisioned the entire story . My blood boiled at the idea of of writing about werewolves. I quickly become entranced by the power they possessed and the idea of how incredible a romance could be between two hulky werewolves and a woman destined to love them - it was all I could think about .

I've been blessed with a wonderful imagination and my stories are often dreams I've had. Truthfully, I do a heck of a lot of daydreaming. My husbands tells me that I chase butterflies all the time and he's right, except it's not butterflies I'm chasing - its hulky supernatural men.

Author Bio: Morgan Fox currently resides in Texas and has been writing paranormal romance for as long as she can remember. As a teenager she wrote dozens of short stories about love, loss, danger and of course the seductive paranormal bad boy. A graduate from the University of Texas at Dallas, she was raised in Florida but navigated to Texas as quickly as she could. Most days, you can find Morgan on her computer diving headlong into her fierce imagination where anything can happen. When not writing, or thinking about writing, she enjoys cycling with her husband and reading all kinds of romance novels. Finding time for all things she loves can be challenging, but with a supportive husband all things are possible.

Seduced by the Moon, Moonlight Shifters Series by Morgan Fox - Release Date April 26, 2011

Adult Excerpt

Was it possible for a heart to explode out of a man’s chest? Because that’s exactly how Sebastian felt being so close to Brie. Not being able to touch her was making him insane. The sexual tension blazing between them was so thick he could taste it. He knew she felt it, too, and had since they’d fucked in her bathroom, exchanging secret glances every chance they got, brushing up against each other with every opportunity.

The memory of touching her had his fingers tightening around the steering wheel. The need to hold her in his arms, press his lips to hers, taste her succulent body, everything he wanted to do to her was driving him wild.

Biting the inside of his of his mouth, he imagined what it would be like to take his time savoring her body. He didn’t want to just fuck her pussy and mindlessly ravage her body. He wanted to love her, sample every inch of her flesh until she was writhing in his arms from unbelievable bouts of passion. Passion he brought out in her.

The heat of her stare was like fire blazing over the sensitive flesh of his body. The desire in her eyes awakened his soul. She stole the breath from his lungs and revved his blood.

He heard her shift and glanced up into the rearview mirror to look at her, sitting in the backseat of his dually pickup truck, arms folded over her chest. Brie’s soothing voice pulled him out of his sexual thoughts and back into reality—a reality that reminded him that he was sitting next to his brother, racing down Interstate 20, running and hiding from a serial killer.

Brie released a heavy sigh, then asked, “Are you sure we need to do this?”

“Yes!” Sebastian and Jonah replied in unison.

Brie blew out an exhausted sigh. Her eyes roaming over the tan leather interior. “I didn’t know you owned a pickup truck. I pictured you as more of a Mercedes kind of guy.” Her eyes darted to the back of Sebastian’s head.

“I have one of those, too,” he said with a deep husk in his voice. He glanced at her from the rearview mirror, holding her gaze, then he quickly looked away before the desire he felt for her rushed to his cock. Driving with a hard-on was a real bitch. “To be clear, there are a lot of things you don’t know about me.”

Like what the moon does to me, or how just being near you drives me wild, makes me want to ravage your body in ways you only dreamed...ways I only dreamed.

She rolled her eyes at him. “So tell me again, where are we going exactly? And how long will we be there?”

“We’re taking you to our ranch in east Texas. We have well over three thousand acres of land. Total seclusion. It’s the perfect place to keep out of sight while the Fed’s track down dear old Mason Levi.” He glanced back at the mirror again to see her huff out another breath, her patience thinning. He grinned. “Don’t worry, little lady, we’ll be there shortly.” Her eyes moved to meet his once again. He couldn’t help but feel his heart pound harder and harder in his chest as his eyes swept over her sweet, heart-shaped face.

Damn, did she not know how beautiful she was?

“And what if they never find him?”

“They will,” Jonah said without hesitation. “But if they don’t, you’ll have no choice but to live with us at the ranch...forever.”

“Forever,” she balked. “Are you out of your ever loving mind?”

Jonah cocked his head, his playboy grin gleaming across his face. “Some might say that, but honestly, you won’t have to worry about that because Mason Levi will be caught.”

“How can you be so sure?”

Jonah glanced over at his brother. They exchanged an understanding glance. With a nod, Sebastian said, “Because no other option is acceptable, Brie.” His eyes sought out her reflection in the mirror. “We will not have you living in fear for the rest of your life. Jonah and I will see that this nightmare ends for you no matter what it takes, but in the mean-time we’re all going to make the best out of this situation. Consider this a well-earned vacation.”

“Right, a vacation.” She snickered. “Something I have no experience with. What exactly does someone do on a vacation?”

Eyebrows raised, he glanced over his shoulder. Jonah said, “I can think of a lot of things we can do.” His dusty brown brow danced up and down.

The heat of embarrassment reddened Brie’s cheeks. Sebastian glared over at his brother, wanting to smack the back of his head. He’d have to wait till later to scold Jonah for his sexual innuendoes. Of course, if Brie didn’t appreciate that side of Jonah, she never let on to it.

“There are tons of things to do. We have private lakes for swimming and boating, hiking and biking trails, horses and livestock to tend to, and a house big enough that should you want to escape for privacy, nothing would stop you.” He smiled at her. “Trust me when I say there are plenty of things to do and tons of places to explore. You’ll have a great time.”

And maybe you’ll even have a eluvia time as I fuck you senseless in my bed, on the couch, or in the woods…

He only hoped.

Story Excerpt

The heat of her stare was like fire blazing over the sensitive flesh of his body. The desire in her eyes awakened his soul. She stole the breath from his lungs and revved his blood.

Brie released a heavy sigh, then asked, “Are you sure we need to do this?”

“Yes!” Sebastian and Jonah replied in unison.

Like what the moon does to me, or how just being near you drives me wild, makes me want to ravage your body in ways you only dreamed...ways I only dreamed.

She rolled her eyes at him. “So tell me again, where are we going exactly? And how long will we be there?”

Damn, did she not know how beautiful she was?

“And what if they never find him?”

“They will,” Jonah said without hesitation. “But if they don’t, you’ll have no choice but to live with us at the ranch...forever.”

“Forever,” she balked. “Are you out of your ever loving mind?”

Jonah cocked his head, his playboy grin gleaming across his face. “Some might say that, but honestly, you won’t have to worry about that because Mason Levi will be caught.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Right, a vacation.” She snickered. “Something I have no experience with. What exactly does someone do on a vacation?”

Eyebrows raised, he glanced over his shoulder. Jonah said, “I can think of a lot of things we can do.” His dusty brown brow danced up and down.

And maybe you’ll even have a eluvia time as I fuck you senseless in my bed, on the couch, or in the woods…

He only hoped.

The Demon King's Resurrection and Other Madness

2011-04-25T12:29:00.000-04:00

Lately, I've been working my ass off on a few things.

Number one, I've been editing and re-editing The Demon King. WHOA. Big job. The Demon King is the project closest to my heart, so I want it to be perfect. It's under consideration with one publisher right now, but if it's rejected and they don't take it for publication, I'm going to keep trying. Even though it's not a romance or erotica like my other pieces, I'm confident that I'll find a publisher.

Shew...that's a big job ahead, I believe!

Second, I've been trying my best to get The Demon King's Resurrection (the second installment of my novella series) fleshed out and ready to finish writing. I've written one chapter and started the second, ya know, just to get the ball rolling, but to finish it, I must first do some research (well, more research) and do some more plotting and planning and mapping. Yes, mapping. The Demon King's Resurrection will have more blood and guts than the first one because the second installment is where things really start to come into shape in the story. This part is where The Demon King and Willow end up on opposite sides of the fight, rather than Willow working for him, sort of. The Demon King's Resurrection will also feature a few new characters and a few old characters who will totally surprise you where it pertains to where their loyalties lie. Oh, and there are a few more fairies in this story, too. I know--fairies in a demon story? Does it fit? Well, yes. It really does.

For those of you who don't know this, according to some sources, fairies are nothing but a demon hybrid. They are not like Tinkerbell in any way, shape, form, or fashion. They're vindictive, plotting, and cannot be trusted at all. They look out for themselves and few else. And that, my dears, is where Willow's drive to conquer for her own reasons comes from. It's a natural element of herself that she cannot fight. No matter what she does, it's always going to be there. Therefore, she and Draken are at odds against each other, and in my line of thought, that makes her a very worthy adversary (once she realizes she is what she is, that is).

Well, that's basically it for right now. I'll keep you all updated, my friends :)

Blossom Organics Warming Lube

2011-04-22T16:56:00.000-04:00

I'm super big on warming lubes. I don't like tinglers, rarely used things that are flavored (although sometimes I do), and I typically just go for something that just gets the job done. Recently, though, I got something awesome from my sexy UPS guy.

Good Vibrations sent me a great good old bottle of Blossom Organics Warming Lube.

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh.......... <---That's the sound of ME relaxing.

It came at a really great time. See, I was almost out of my other bottle of warming lube. Now I'm not out of warming lube. I have a new favorite warming lube as a matter of fact. This one, as it seems, really warms things up to a higher degree than most, so if you just want a little bit of warmth, this isn't for you.

For those (like me) who love it HOT HOT HOT, this is for you.

The consistency is perfect, and Blossom Organics make...um, you guessed it...ORGANIC products. So, for Green Sex, you've hit the nail right on the head. It's like having sex or masturbating for the planet's sake. You can't really argue with saving the planet, now can you?

Another cool thing about this product is that it comes in a bottle with a squeezy snap open/shut lid. That's a lot better than screwing a cap off and struggling mid-coitus. Oh, and a little bit really does go a long way with this product.

Rhiannon's Rating: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 Five Hearts for HOT lube!

Rhiannon's Tips & Suggestions: Use this lube with toys, without toys, with a partner or without one. It's sometimes a good idea to test a dab out on your arm or behind your knee (somewhere sensitive) before you use it on your private parts just to make sure it's not too hot for you.

Pleasure Ed's "Going Down"

2011-04-22T16:40:00.000-04:00

Last night I cuddled up on my couch with a blanket and a cup of coffee (I always have one of those in my hands these days) and watched "Going Down."

You can order this film for yourself from Good Vibrations. I suggest that you do...

This film, another from Good Releasing and Dr. Carol Queen's Pleasure-Ed series, was excellent, just as I expected.

You get to see a variety of techniques and positions for when you decide to engage in a bit of cunnilingus (eating pussy, for those who didn't know). Just like the Pleasure-Ed film, "Heads Up," about sucking cock (and that film just sort of made me wanna suck a dick), "Going Down" sort of just made me wanna sit on somebody's face for a while-and that's a good thing.

"Going Down" mixes good ol' fashioned information with awesome in your face examples and even some cool sit-downs with a few members of the community (Kitty Stryker). As a side note, I absolutely love watching Madison Young's scenes (in ANY film) because she has some of the most distinctive orgasm noises and sounds I've ever heard. I could walk through a motel where every single room held a different woman having an orgasm, and I could probably pick out which room was hers just by listening outside the door. Beautiful, Madison!

Well done, Good Releasing and Dr. Carol Queen. Bravo!

The Going Down Kit also comes with some extra little things that you may be interested in. You'll get a bottle of Sliquid Swirl Lubricant in Cherry Vanilla, which I absolutely love because it's got a really great taste to it. It's not too much, but if you like flavored lubes, it has just enough flavor to where it's not overbearing and doesn't make you feel like biting into someone's genitals (unless you just like that sorta thing).The only gripe about this lube that I had was that it wasn't grape, and grape is my favorite flavor lol.

The Lingo Vibrating Tongue ring is pretty great, too. You slide it right over your tongue and slide the little thingy on the side of the bullet part to turn it on. Yes, I said "thingy." Anyhoo--it's a great little gadget to up the ante on a good head job. You can also just slide it over your finger for a little fun that way, too.

Rhiannon's Rating: <3 <3 <3 Three Hearts!

Rhiannon's Tips & Suggestions: I would suggest this kit for couples who wish to learn a thing or two. Use the lube and tongue ring while you're watching it. Ready? Go!

Ballad of Pisces and Cancer

2011-04-14T20:25:00.000-04:00

Once upon a time, there lived a great Pisces.

His scales and trident were fierce.

This fish lost himself through deep waters

Looking for a tender heart to pierce.

Sweet Pisces, dear dreamer, swims too deep.

He is always too lost to be found.

He swims with great force to the deepest depths

Until one day he hears a sweet sound.

He imagines this lost one to be quietly weeping

But not so quiet that he could not hear from the deep

He felt her heart break from a great distance

And wondered what caused her to weep

The closer to the sea shore he traveled

The better he could hear her sweet, muffled cries

He found a lone crustatian, her head in her hands

Her tears falling, she released a low grown and sighs...

he says...

"Dear Cancer, you are but a sight to behold

Your head in your hands, and your heart on your sleeve

Come out of your shell and dry your eyes

And together, you and I will leave"

The cancer indeed dried her damp eyes

But she pulled further into her shell and into white sands

Her eyes hardened, her pincers at the ready

For Cancer holds the power of the moon in her hands

she says...

"Pisces, you are but a lonely souled dreamer

Your charms have no place in my soft heart

Take one step closer, my pincers are sharpened

You'd better go-I'll give you a head start."

he says...

"Sweetheart, I wouldn't offend you at all.

I just heard you weeping through an endless sea

Allow me to stay and I'll listen to you

To speak of your troubles will set your heart free."

Cancer steps back at the sound of his voice

And trembles at the graying of his eyes

For deep inside his blue-gray irises

She'd lost her thoughts of misery and lies

He drops his trident in the white sands

And approaches the Cancer, completely unarmed

Easily, slowly, he approaches the careful crab

The last thing he wanted was for her to be alarmed.

In Pisces dreams, he'd never felt such a pull.

Not from fate, the Universe, nor from a love

This crab, by all accounts he'd considered

Had been sent directly from heaven above.

She was cautious, this scared, weeping, young Cancer

And took great care not to allow scales and shell to touch.

Keeping her distance from the dashing fish, though

Was starting to feel like a task, for her, way too much!

she says...

"Tell me, young fish, why my tears lured you here.

I'm certain it's not any concern of yours.

My problems are my own, my heart is the Moon's

So, what brings you here to my shallow shores?"

She examines his face, his eyes, his stance

She readeies herself for his next words and pleas

Her feet dig further into the sands with nervousness

But a cool demeanor and sleepy blue-gray eyes are all she sees.

he says...

"Sweet girl, just listen for a short moment now.

I mean you absolutely no harm at all.

I heard you quietly weeping from the deep seas

Come out of that shell, dear Cancer, let me break down your wall."

Cancer's heart skipped a beat at his sweet prompts.

But no sweeter terror had she ever felt.

"Pisces, my ever dreaming, ever loving fish-

Your words like liquid silver, so hot, to make me melt."

A smile crossed Pisces lips as he licked them and moved forward

He pulls his Cancer into his arms, stares into her eyes

The Moon and Neptune were joined that very night

And together they stayed until the sun would next rise.

Pisces and Cancer made quite the great pair,

Until one day, Poseidon erupted into rough seas.

Pisces had gone into the depths earlier that day

And his Cancer love had stayed ashore awaiting for her lover's appease.

The storm worried her so that she couldn't speak.

Fear shook all through her protective shell

Would her sweet lover return to her-or did Poseidon take him?

If the latter be true, she'd see Poseidon personally to hell.

She'd never gone into the deeper waters, always clung to shore

There were wondrous dangers, and risks she wouldn't ordinarily take

But this situation called for Cancer's bravery at all costs

Her sweet Pisces' very life was at stake!

She gathered her wits all about, sharpening pincers at first.

And ventured to the edge of the sea, little length at a pace

Soon, she'd gone so far she didn't know how to get back

But all she could think of was being again in sweet Pisces loving embrace

Her Pisces, wondrous, dreaming Pisces, lay lifeless in the sea.

His eyes were closed, his trident missing, his heart barely going

Cancer pulled him from the sea and carried him to shore

If he had a single sign of life-it surely wasn't showing.

The storm waged on, but Cancer kept her lover safe from peril

She nursed him and stood guard for days and days to come

Still yet, her sweet Pisces would falter and his heart did stop

And sweet Cancer, weeping, grieving Cancer had merely come undone

Grief overcame the careful crab, but she managed to bury her love

She made his tomb beneath a grand willow tree and never left his side

Thus, the Cancer's heart broke into a million pearly pieces

And beneath Pisces grand willow, she died.

Splattercore!

2011-04-13T19:42:00.000-04:00

Hey guys! So, there's new news with Rhiannon Mills lol. You can now find me, not only here and everywhere else, but at Splattercore, a new blog that centers primarily around HORROR!

So, go visit me and some other great horror loving writers at Splattercore, why don't ya! Oh, and follow us :)

GUSH!

2011-04-13T11:47:00.001-04:00

This morning I settled down on the couch with my Good Vibrations coffee mug full of coffee (I'm addicted) and put in my new Pleasure-Ed DVD, "GUSH." Boy, was I ever in for an educational treat! I'm a nerd by nature, one who just loves sex, so the Pleasure-Ed series has certainly piqued my interest. "GUSH" features many, many, many interesting aspects of the G-Spot and female ejaculation that I had never really explored before. I mean, sure, I've had my share of experiences, but there were things that even I didn't know.

The primary focus of the film is G-Spot hunting and female ejaculation. Dr. Carol Queen, on the air with Michelle Meow, answers questions from callers about this mysterious entity known as the G-Spot and how "gushing," or female ejaculation, works.

Dr. Queen discusses the difference between a sexologist and a sexpert (I'm not telling you the difference because I want you to find out for yourself), the different methods for G-Spot stimulation/hunting and lady ejaculation, and even advice about what types of toys to use in your hunt. There are several toys in the film, too, so the sizes and shapes of these toys can give you a really great idea if you don't already have a few that work well for you.

The film clearly focuses on women (because, let's face it, men don't have a G-Spot...they have a P-Spot-and that entails a totally different type of hunting). This is extremely refreshing to me. I'm so tired of watching adult films that focus primarily on male satisfaction!

In fact, I feel like I should take a break from the G-Spot hunt talk to tell you about my favorite-sighs-FAVORITE part of the film. There's a scene towards the end that opens with a rather handsome young fella chopping peppers, cooking dinner, frosting cupcakes, and looking through a cookbook. His lady comes home from a rough day at work and he has wine waiting on her. WINE!!! What woman wouldn't absolutely love that? And get this-he then gives her some awesome orgasms.

Now that I have that out of my system, let's continue, shall we?

There is the use of gloves, condoms, and other barriers in the film, too. I always look for safety measures in porn because it's such a big issue for health reasons. Often, the phrase monkey see, monkey do comes into play when it comes to adult films. Not that I'm calling any of you monkeys, but when people see others using protection, they just might use protection themselves-and that makes me happy!

Also, the actors in the film are very diverse in sexual orientations, sex, race, etc. That also makes me happy. I like that the film sort of expresses that anyone can induce a g-spot orgasm and female ejaculation in their partner as long as one partner is female.

There's also a bit of comic relief in the film. A caller asks Carol when do you tell a partner that you ejaculate? Carol's answer was this: before you ejaculate up their nose!

Dr. Carol Queen--you've made my day! She's an absolute sexology superhero. Seriously. Someone should get this woman a beautiful sparkling red cape and an invisible plane. I'd love to be her sidekick so she can keep teaching me things lol...btw-they say I look dazzling in tights!

Rhiannon's Rating: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 FIVE HEARTS!

Rhiannon's Tips & Suggestions: Watch this film alone or with a partner. Invite a whole group over and pop popcorn. Order pizza. Bring your toys. Do whatever you want as long as you WATCH THIS FILM. Dr. Carol Queen has introduced the G-Spot hunt and female ejaculation both in a way that is somewhat different than I would have expected. Kudos for that!

Extra advice from the sexperts can be found at Good Vibrations. For G-Spot & Female Ejaculation Education and info, click the link. Cum on...ya know you wanna.

Toy Spotlight

$82 at Good Vibrations!

For your G-Spot hunting fun, you should try one of these G-Swirl Smartvibes.

Celebrate Yourself!

2011-04-11T14:49:00.000-04:00

Today I got a surprise visit from my UPS guy (smiles) and he brought me another awesome kit from Good Vibrations called the Celebrate Yourself Kit. For some reason, I don't think that the Celebrate Yourself Kit is still available at Good Vibrations because when I went back to the site to find the links and snatch a photo it wasn't there, but everything that comes in it is! That's the beauty of it...you can still buy all the pieces at GV and make the kit yourself.

Then again, I could be wrong. Maybe it's just hiding from me. I doubt it, though. I looked pretty thoroughly.

Anyhoo, the kit comes with a bottle of Please Liquid Lube. You all know how I feel about this product, but I'll tell you again. When you need something that just gets the job done and ensures you a slippery sliding good time, go with this. It doesn't warm, tingle, chill, or anything else--it just does its job! It's water based, and it can be coupled with just about any toy on the market. Plus, when you're mid-coitus and just need a pick-me-up, reach for the bottle and apply a dime sized amount. That'll get you going and then some. A little bit goes a really long way with this stuff.

Another awesome plus with this particular lube is that a 2 oz. bottle will last you absolutely forever, but you can get an 8 or 16 oz. bottle that comes with a pump.

You also will get an Ignite Me Massage Candle in the scent Morning Dew. Morning Dew is an exceptionally good smelling smell. These candles do a lot of neat stuff. When you light them, they last for quite a while. The wax magically transforms into massage oil that won't burn your skin when it makes contact, and that's a plus! AND--they're super affordable.

You get a Silver Bullet Vibrator as your encore, coupled with a Bunny Sleeve. MAGICAL! The silver bullet is awesome. I love bullet vibrators, and this one might take over as my new favorite one! You control the vibrations with sliders on either sides of the remote part. No buttons! I like that. I also liked that with a slider to control the intensity of the vibrations, you could easily go from a light vibration to a medium, and then to your highest level of intensity without a lot of thought. Just move your thumb...that's all it takes.

The Bunny Sleeve itself is miraculous. It's just a hunk of bunny that you slide over the Silver Bullet (and it's purple!), but that little bunny can dive into my garden all he wants. He can set up residency there, if he so chooses. I won't run him off anytime soon!

Coupling the Bunny Sleeve with the Silver Bullet is fun. You don't have to use a sleeve, though. You can just use the bullet if you want. However, I prefer the sleeve!

The ears twitch and wiggle with the vibrations of the vibrator, however, I liked to use the bunny's face for clitoral stimulation a little bit better, with the ears angled around it. You can find so many things to do with this little guy--you just have to do some experimenting to see what you like better!

I think that next time I do any sex toy shopping, I may end up buying my sister a Silver Bullet and Bunny Sleeve for Mother's Day...cause Mommies need awesome orgasms, too!

Rhiannon's Rating: Although it doesn't matter because I don't think this kit is still available, I'm giving this kit three hearts! <3 <3 <3

Rhiannon's Tips & Suggestions: Use these toys alone because, after all, it's called the "Celebrate Yourself Kit." Not the "Celebrate Yourself and Others Kit." You can use a lot of this kit with a partner, of course, but it's better used for self love!

Toy Spotlight

Don't want your Bunny Sleeve to get lonely? How about giving him a Diving Dolphin to keep him company? This sleeve is compatible with the Silver Bullet Vibrator, and is absolutely adorable!

Japan Relief! Find out how YOU can help!

2011-04-09T12:41:00.002-04:00

Help The Relief Effort In Japan & Read Some Great Fiction!

All proceeds from sales of Fountain Of Youth, By erotic romance author, Elizabeth Black to aid relief.

The world was shocked at the destruction caused by the Sendai earthquake and tsunami that devastated Japan in March of 2011. What can a writer do?

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

April 8, 2011

Searching for a way to help relief efforts, Ms. Black and her publisher Romance Divine, LLC collaborated to earmark all sales of her short erotic story Fountain of Youth through June 15, 2011 to be donated to the Red Cross foundation to assist the Japanese in their recovery.

Fountain of Youth is particularly appropriate as it is an m/m erotic short story based on a Japanese folk tale. In Ms. Black's Americanized version, as in the Japanese original, a lesson is learned: be careful what you wish for. What if you could have a do-over; a second chance at love and romance with the object of your heart’s desire? What would you wish for? Careful, sometimes wishes do come true, but they might not always be exactly what you expect. Sydney finds romance, and changes, after discovering a secret Fountain Of Youth

Find more about this story on Ms. Black's web site: http://elizabethablack.blogspot.com/p/japan-relief.html. All proceeds from this short story sold through June 15 will be donated to the Red Cross foundation to help with relief efforts in Japan.

###

Elizabeth Black is writer who lives on the Massachusetts coast with her husband, son, and four cats. She pens erotic romance, erotica, dark fiction, and horror. She also writes articles about sex and relationships for numerous publications. You may find her at her web site, http://elizabethablack.blogspot.com. Friend her on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/elizabethablack

Romance Divine LLC is a publisher of print books, e-books and audio books; both fiction and non-fiction, in a variety of genres. Romance Divine books can be found at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, All Romance e-Books, Kobo, Bookstrand, Google books, the Apple iBookstore and at other fine on-line retailers. They are also available at the Romance Divine web site: http://www.romancedivine.com

Contact Information:

Elizabeth Black

trishcwilson@comcast.net

Romance Divine, LLC

Gregory Causey, Publisher

Odd Fantasies...

2011-04-07T04:54:00.000-04:00

Sometimes my mind wanders and I can never manage to catch it. It doesn't matter if it's while I'm washing dishes, if I'm just falling asleep, or if I'm writing at my computer desk.

Ahem--I meant at my computer sewing machine. My desk collapsed and I've temporarily replaced it with an old chest style sewing machine...

Moving on!

So, last night I was having another one of my wild fantasies. Sometimes in these dreams I'm a rock star or some kind of famous person. Other times I'm just a mysterious entity. Last night I was the latter, I suppose.These things always start out with me daydreaming different scenarios in my head. I've done this since I was a kid! Only, back then, I was Jordan Knight's girlfriend in all of my daydreams. Now, not so much...

I'm walking across a sandy beach. It's late summer, so it's really hot, but I don't mind it because I have a really nice bag over my shoulder full of all my new books. After all, if you're gonna be at the beach, you have to have some reading materials, right?

In my head, I'm going through my closet, deciding what I should be wearing at this imaginary beach. Then, I realize that if I'm daydreaming I may as well just make up an ensemble...duh...

Old Navy dress I want...and shall have!

So, I'm wearing this super cute thing I saw at Old Navy, a pair of sea green flip flops, and the pendant that Jarreth wears in the movie Labyrinth. Don't question why, I just am, okay! Maybe the Goblin King just decided to give it to me...who knows.

Across the beach a little ways, there's a comic book stand (one that, in my head, also sells Wild Grape Smirnoff Ice and each one comes with a complimentary grape cigarillo) and I walk across the beach to see what i can find there.

Guess who's at this comic book stand!

None other than Snoop Dogg....So what do I do? I reach into my bag of books and when I pull my hand outta the bag, there's this really cool bong I had when I was a teenager. I don't know whatever really happened to my precious pink bong, but me and Snoop put it to good use on the beach in my dream lol.

Snoop says: Here, Kelly...pass it back in a few--fo shizzle.

Before I leave the comic stand, but after I smoke a ton with Snoop, I pick up several Tank Girl comics, and then hit the beach again. Suddenly, my sister, Ronny, is there, but I pass her by for some reason and just walk right into the water. My bag of books is gone, though. Not sure where it went.

The water is cool, but not cold. Once I swim a certain length, my love is there with me and we're swimming together, then...Thank goodness for dreams.

Heads Up!

2011-03-30T17:30:00.000-04:00

Are you having a little trouble figuring out how to give the perfect blow job? I have a solution for you. You can just go to Good Vibrations and buy the Heads Up Kit.

This kit is awesome, and different than other kits I've reviewed in here lately. The reason for this is that it's a DVD (Part of the Pleasure-Ed Series), a bottle of Sliquid Swirl lube (Cherry Vanilla), and a Lingo Vibrating Tongue Ring.

Dr. Carol Queen is responsible for this awesome how-to guide. If you're afraid that you're just "not doing it right" or you want to learn a few new things- this is PERFECT. There are demonstrations from professional performers and real couples as well in here, and you just might learn a lot more than you think!

Even if you're great at giving head (like me...lol), you still might learn something. No--you WILL learn more about the subject. The best thing about it is that it's fun to watch with a partner. It's not porn--it's educational material that will make you want to suck a dick.

The (disposable) Lingo Vibrating Tongue Ring was absolutely fun--and hysterical. I never knew that any toy companies would ever think to invent such a thing, but I'm sure glad that they did. As you can imagine, the tongue ring can be used for a wide variety of things, from fellatio to cunnilingus, to wrapping it over your finger and pleasuring yourself for a while, too.

I didn't like the fact that the vibrating part of the lingo was so long. It's about an inch long, and I think that half an inch would have been more desirable for the purpose of fellatio. However, for cunnilingus...PERFECTO!

Cherry vanilla isn't one of my favorite flavors, however I did enjoy the cherry vanilla Sliquid Swirl lube. It was the icing on the cake--or the lube on the cock--whatever you wanna go with. I also liked the fact that the bottle is pretty, and I'm really big on presentation haha!

Rhiannon's Rating: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 Five hearts, for educational purposes!

Rhiannon's Tips & Suggestions: Don't pop the popcorn, but pour the wine, instead. Put this DVD in, and watch it with a partner. Keep an open mind about it. It's NOT a regular run of the mill sex DVD (or porn). I'm sure it's not called "Pleasure-Ed" for nothing! When you go through the different parts of the movie, try things out along with the folks on your screen. Employ the use of your cherry vanilla lube and Lingo tongue ring while you're experimenting with different techniques. Remember--don't assume that fellatio is simple. It's not just a stick it in there, suck it a while, and pull it out kinda process. Giving pleasure to your partner through a kick ass blow job is a great way to get experimental and try new things. Oh, and if you do a great job, he just might return the favor...

Product Spotlight...

The Pleasure-Ed DVD's are all pretty awesome. There isn't just ONE, there are three that I've seen so far.

The counterpart to "Heads Up" is "Going Down: The Official Guide to Cunnilingus," my favorite subject! ha ha!

Also, there's the film, "Gush: The Official Guide to the G-Spot & Female Ejaculation."

Way to go, Good Vibrations and Dr. Carol Queen!

Enjoy Green Sex Toy Month with Elizabeth Black

2011-03-30T15:34:00.001-04:00

Today, I've invited fellow toy reviewer and author, Elizabeth Black, as my guest here. Welcome, Elizabeth! Read what she has to say about "green" sex toys and more--

Enjoy Green Sex Toy Month With The Best Sex Toys and My Erotic Fiction

By Elizabeth Black

In honor of Green Sex Toy Month (April), I'd like to write about both my experiences working for sex toys companies and how sex toys figure into my erotic fiction. I wrote an article about phthalates in sex toys for the feminist magazine On The Issues. My article, entitled Mother Nature Gets Naughty: Eco-Friendly Sex Toys delved into the problems with sex toys made from latex and jelly rubber. Here's a taste:

I am a copywriter for a sex toys company in England, and, for several years, I've written articles reviewing new products for American and English sex toys company magazines. Consumers today are demanding that manufacturers make sex toys from healthier materials, and now companies are beginning to respond.

The problem with sex toys arises because many popular sex items are made from phthalates, a jelly-like material that has been identified as a possible health risk. Since you insert sex toys into your body, you are directly exposing not only your outer body to phthalates, but also your internal organs, especially your sex organs. If you are pregnant, you could be exposing your fetus to toxic chemicals, a particular risk to in utero development.

For more, just go to the link, and read the rest.

DominaDoll, known for her work with the web site Sextoy.com, owns her own web site called PopMyCherryReview.com. I review sex toys for Sextoy.com, and I'm very happy with them. Here's what DominaDoll has to say about Green Sex Toy Month:

DominaDoll, owner of PopMyCherryReview.com - a sex-positive blog that reviews adult products and sex toys - announces “Green” Sex Toy Month for the month of April 2011. The goal of the campaign is to build awareness about body-safe and environmentally friendly adult products.

“Before I started sex blogging, I worked as a sex toy ‘smut’ peddler in a brick and mortar shop in Halifax, Nova Scotia. I became quickly aware that not all sex toys were created equally, when I noticed one of the “smelly jelly” toys seeping purple ooze that was definitely not lube. When I told my employer at that time about it, she said it was fine and to put it back on the shelf. I quit soon after. ” Doll says.

“From then on, I made it my mission, via PopMyCherryReview, to alert consumers about the potential dangers of sex toy materials and chemicals in personal care products, as well as champion sustainable sex toys, manufacturing and recycling practices by ethical manufacturers and retailers. I’ve written various articles on Lubes and Harmful Chemicals and Phthalates in Sex Toys, and this is the 2nd year that I’ve reviewed only green products for April." (To read her articles, go to PopMyCherryReview.com.)

I have included numerous sex toys in my erotic fiction. I think sex toys add spice to lovemaking, and they are fun to use. Here's a list of most of my stories in which sex toys play a part. As you can tell, my characters are quite open about the sexuality, and they can be very kinky. If you want to buy any of these books, read excerpts, and read blurbs, please visit my web site for more information. Here's the link: Elizabeth Black – Web Site and Blog.

* Remote Controlled Butterfly Strap On Vibrator – "Remote Controlled Fun" from "Tales Of Lust And Longing". Published by Whiskey Creek Press Torrid. See "Tales Of Lust And Longing" tab on my web site.

* Warming lube, thick butt plug, "Brat" paddle, blindfold, handcuffs – "Smacking Her Lips" from "Tales Of Lust And Longing". Published by Whiskey Creek Press. See "Tales Of Lust And Longing" tab on my web site.

* Under the bed restraints, massage oil – "Feral Heat" published by Romance Divine. See "Feral Heat" tab on my web site.

* Velvet eye mask, warming lube (after Kevin shoves away several vibrators, a butt plug, and some plush handcuffs) – "Indiscretions Vol. 1: Caught And Wild Child" published by Romance Divine. See "Short Stories" tab on my web site.

* Strawberry scented lube, rabbit vibrator, handcuffs, an anal dildo, several condoms, and a collapsible spreader bar – "Indiscretions Vol. 2: The Mile High Club and Room Service" published by Romance Divine. See "Short Stories" tab on my web site.

* Four silk scarves, Hitachi wand – "Things That Go Hump In The Night" from "I Kissed A Girl II: More Virgin Lesbian Stories" published by Ravenous Romance. "See "Short Stories" tab on my web site. (To be fair, these things aren't introduced until the very end, and it's the promise of them being used in the next scene you don't see.)

* Futuristic, nubbed, solar-powered, rechargeable, and waterproof glass vibrator, futuristic virtual imagery helmet (this sex toy hasn't been invented yet, LOL) – "Unfolding Her Wings" from "Women On The Edge Of Space", to be published by Circlet Press in spring/summer 2011. Will appear in my "Short Stories" tab on my web site.

As you can see, I love sex toys. I've been reviewing them for several years. You should see the boxes in my closet overflowing with vibrators, paddles, whips, and dildos. LOL! I also work for a Bondara.co.uk, a British sex toys company that specializes in the best and highest quality bondage gear I've ever seen. We're talking amazing leather products here. Stuff you invest in rather than merely buy, if you get my drift. Go to Bondara and stock up your bondage dungeon with only the best gear ever made. And buy my books, read a few stories, get yourself all worked up, and act out the scenes with your favorite sex toys. You'll never get out of bed!

Wow..Hit me outta nowhere!

2011-03-29T09:44:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I sat down at my computer and tried to finish "Scratching the Itch." It didn't happen...

Instead, I started something totally new, and it came out of nowhere! As most of you know, the antagonist in my Immortal Series is none other than demon broad, Lilleth. She contracts other demons and vampires into becoming incubi/succubi because Lilleth cannot have children of her own and she desperately wants to people the earth with little cambians (half demon/vampire and half human species that are extremely powerful entities!). I decided that if Lilleth affected the folks of Hunstville so much in my Immortal books, she probably is out tearing up other people's lives elsewhere in the meantime. So, I ran with that.

I started writing a novella yesterday. Yup, a novella. Not a full length novel.

The main character in the story is a young man, aged 18 years old, who is dooped into sleeping with Lilleth in 1990, and then Lilleth takes him with her to the Underworld--after tricking him--and allows him to grow to an older, more mature age. Yeah--she's nasty like that. She lets them grow and mature so that when they get a little older, they can lure more women that way.

Anyhoo--Lilleth is the demon we all love to hate, as my bestie (Joanna, I love you! lol) said to me once. She's absolutely right!

Back to my story...

So, Lilleth doops a kid (18 is legal, however...just so we're all clear on that) into sleeping with her so that she can make him an incubus demon in time, when he's older. He falls for it and signs his contract in blood, just as all the others had to do. Fast forward a few years, and my main character (who I've named Kade) is thrust into New Orleans on an assignment from Lilleth. By now, Kade pretty much hates her, but tolerates her because he likes his lifestyle as an incubus. Of course--who wouldn't want to sleep with women left and right and not have to suffer the consequences afterwards? lol

His assignment is pretty simple. Find Scarlett, an unknowing "Demon Mate."

Scarlett's lineage is something Lilleth has tried to keep a secret for years. Scarlett has something Lilleth doesn't: a functioning womb, perfectly capable of breeding with demons. An incubus can knock anyone up, with very little problem....but, couple that incubus demon with a demon mate, and the spawn is 100% Demon. No human at all. The kicker? These demon spawned children have spectacular gifts--just like a cambian does. Only they live forever...

And here, Lilleth thought that all the demon mates were extinct centuries ago! Silly, Lilleth!

So, I think I'm onto something here with this story. I'm working on it. Researching, plotting, fleshing out all of the secondary characters...that sorta thing. Oh, and this one (unlike the Immortal books) is EROTIC paranormal romance, rather than paranormal romance. I think that if you write about an incubi/succubi, it pretty much has to be somewhere in the Erotica genre...

Just me, writing too much--

2011-03-27T19:35:00.000-04:00

This past week has been very, very hectic. I've had sick kids left and right, the house torn upside down due to repairs and other nonsense, and on top of it, I've been battling a toothache.

ARRRRGHHH!!!

The good news is that the Shivers Bzzz Buddies Vibrator giveaway has come to a close, and we have chosen a winner. Congrats to Rhonda Valverde of Kansas. Shivers will be very happy with you in Kansas!

In other news, I've been working on a short story entitled (working title, of course) "Scratching the Itch." This story is about a long lost love.

James and Kate were sweet on each other in high school, but neither of them were honed into their own hormones enough to realize that in order to get somewhere in a relationship--or in order for there to be a relationship at all--someone actually has to open up their big mouth and say something. Anything! Like, "hi. I'm ______. You're cute. Wanna go out?" or maybe something like this, "So, did you drop that pen on the floor just to get a look up my skirt?" *Punches!*...Okay, so maybe neither of those would work so well, but the point is that neither James nor Kate acted on their attractions, other than playing footsy under their desks during class and the occasional graze or light touch here and there.

So, then James and Kate are separated by the forces of time, and after about ten years, Kate had had enough wondering. So, she did an online wild goose chase, coming up completely empty until she ran across his email address on an online forum. She emailed him with her address, phone number, and a quick message and then hit "send" hoping to hear from him. When she finally does hear from James, a few months later, he comes to her in complete surprise--while she's hanging wet laundry out on her clothesline, barefooted.

This short story is really kicking my ass, though! It's an erotic romance, and the characters are great--far more developed and tuned in than you might believe by reading the above non-blurb. The problem is that it's a short story, not a novella. Yet, I keep wanting to write at a novella's pace. So, now I'm wondering if I shouldn't just turn it into a novella and then write something fresh for the short story submission calls that I've been scouting.

Um, more like stalking.

Eh--I started out with the urge to write a short story, yet the same thing keeps happening to me. I keep wanting to write something longer, something that won't leave me hanging at the end like short stories do. Don't get me wrong, I love short stories. The problem is that I'm too darned thorough and long-winded to write one.

Mark my words, though. "Scratching the Itch" will be a completed short story soon enough. A great one! And not only that, but I'll get it to a publisher. Oh, and that publisher will want it. I'm not a prophet, but that's the way it's going to go, or ELSE!

Don't ask me "or else what?" cause I really don't know the answer to that. All I know is that it's going to be one helluva short story when I'm finished or I might just wind up in the insane asylum down the street with the other crazies. I'm starting to think that all of the inhabitants of said nut house are probably writers who tried to write something great and couldn't tweek it all the right way. That's enough to make a person bat-shit crazy.

There's not really much else to say about this past week. Nothing great, anyhow. Everything seems to be crumbling around me, and there's nothing I can do about it except write the pain away.

Here's to next week. Let's hope and pray that I don't end up in the nut house. No, let's hope and pray that I finish "Scratching the Itch."... cause a ten year itch isn't something you want to carry for two decades, rather than one...

Toy Reviews By The Typical PTA Mom

2011-03-19T10:28:00.000-04:00

*This post first appeared on the Good Vibrations Magazine.*

I’m a normal mother, by most means. Growing up in the south has instilled in me values that probably date back to the Civil War (no elbows on the table, no sex before marriage-giggle-and those sorts of things). My mother, who would give Martha Stuart a run for her money, raised me that way. I learned from her that a lady doesn’t raise her voice, poke holes in her face, write steamy vampire novels, or review sex toys. I was also taught that a lady doesn’t talk about sex, write about sex, or have sex at all other than for the purposes of procreation. I just didn’t listen. As my paternal grandmother often says, we’re not ladies by any means. I guess I take after her a lot more than I’d ever thought I did. After all, what fun is not doing all of those things?

When I married at the age of eighteen, I was a traditional southern housewife. I did laundry, cooked, cleaned, took care of my tiny daughter-all while the hubs was at work. I also developed a very cliche’ liking to soap operas, aprons and Mr. Clean. Years later, reviewing sex toys changed things a bit. Instead of cleaning all day while the kiddos are at school, I’m reviewing and testing sex toys. I still wear my apron-sometimes during my testing sessions-and I still have an odd love for lemon scented Mr. Clean. I just show my appreciation for those things in a whole new way.

I feel compelled to tell other people, particularly other parents, that just because I seem a little different because of my lifestyle, I’m still a mother like all of the rest of you. I’m caffeine addicted like most of you, chain smoke like half of you, and I read tales by The Brothers Grimm to my children on a regular basis. My house has no BDSM style torture chamber-although, the thought has crossed my mind for the day when my youngest son goes to college-and I promise you, I’m not leading a prostitution ring, nor am I snogging any of your husbands. I have my own, thankyouverymuch. I also promise you that I’m not recruiting sex workers for porn flicks. I don’t get paid enough for that. Your daughters are safe.

That being said, adult toy reviewers are generally wonderful, well rounded, intelligent women (and men) who know how to make themselves happy and still manage to be awesome parents. Sometimes it’s hard for others in the small town that I live in to get that through their heads. We live in hee-haw. No kidding. Instead of joining a bridge club, or whatever the other women here do, I tend to cling to my few close friends. We chat online together about our kids, call every once in a while to complain about the weather and the garbage man not showing up when he’s supposed to, and nit-pick about things we wished we’d listened to our mothers about-like bad tattoos and potty training. I’m not that different than everyone else.

I do, however, have a very different schedule than most mothers around here. I get up early to make my husband’s lunch and send him out the door to work. Then, I get the kids up and get all four of them ready for school. After I spend a few minutes with my youngest son at the bus stop, I head home, start a load of laundry, answer emails, finish my coffee, and there’s where my day stops looking like a normal housewife’s day. That’s where the fun stuff starts.

After the coffee is gone, I read about whatever toy it is that I’m reviewing. Then, I dredge my way into the living room or bedroom-wherever I’m the most comfortable-and go to it. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be, either. It’s fun, of course, but there is a lot more to testing toys and reviewing them than what most people think. There’s actually work involved. Who would have thought?

Reviewers look for things while they’re having all the fun with their new toys. We look for durability, functionality, texture, noise-level, performance (does it do what it’s supposed to do?), visual appeal, intensity, and also what all you can do with it. With insertable toys you sort of have to take on a toddler mentality (Hmm. I wonder where I can stick this?) because they’re very versatile, whether it’s a dildo, vibrator, or plug. We do all of this, not only because it can be really fun, so other people-who sometimes aren’t as open and comfortable about their sexualities as we are-know what they’re buying when they get a new toy.
Think about it. If you buy a toy and don’t realize what you’re getting, you can injure yourself. If someone reviews and tests the toy first, you might save yourself some pain and embarrassment, not to mention a trip to the ER in some cases. You’d be amazed at the people who bite off more than they can chew and wind up with a dildo lodged in their anus because they didn’t realize that without a big enough base, your anus can actually swallow items. Although, I’m sure you would provide an ER staff with plenty of entertainment to break the monotony in their busy days, it wouldn’t be very comfortable and you can receive some really horrible injuries that way. Reviewers and testers can save you the drama, and many of those reviewers that you rely on to save you from buying a dildo for something you should be buying a plug for are mothers just like me-sometimes fathers, too.

Many of us, not just me, are just simple men and women who pay our taxes and whine about the weather, go to PTA meetings and stare down the street every time that same suspicious gray car goes by-then call all the neighbors to see if anyone else saw it, too-and many of us enjoy our other jobs when we find an hour to ourselves, after we figure out who was driving the gray car, though. Safety first.

Moral of this story is this: We’re just people like you are. We just do things differently, and sometimes think on a different plane. Maybe my mother was right about one thing. You should never judge a book by its cover.

To contact Rhiannon Mills, please send an email to KellyShrewsbury@gmail.com and she will get back to you between 24 and 48 hours :)

Remember, if you're looking for toys, you can always go to Good Vibrations and see what you can get into!

Party Hardy Kit

2011-03-18T12:57:00.000-04:00

This will probably be one of the last kits I review for a little while...I promise. Really...lol

$34

I won't discuss the reasons why I love kits, I'm just going to remind you that you get more bang for your buck with these kits from Good Vibrations. Oh, and GV is awesome for putting together kits that make sense, ya know, bundling things that go together well.

The Party Hardy Kit has a lot of really awesome things in there. Small things, but they compliment each other very well, and are more than great for a playful night in.

The kit starts you out with a Bullet Buddy Vibrator. This little guy is small, but powerful, and I didn't have any problems with it other than the little animal ears. For me they were too hard and pointy, but never fear. I just turned him about a bit and used his face for clitoral stimulation instead!

You also get a Screaming O Vibrating Cock Ring with the kit. This is a disposable cock ring, and it's quite powerful. The shape is absolutely awesome, and it's perfect to use when you've never used a cock ring before. That way if you don't like the cock ring, you can just throw it away and you don't have to waste more money on a more expensive non-disposable one. The only thing I didn't like about the cock ring was that it was disposable and I sort of got attached to it. So, I guess I'll be buying another one soon lol.

A coconut lime Rub Me Massage Bar is just the icing on any cake as far as I'm concerned. These things will last quite a while and you can employ them for multiple uses. Coconut lime smells like an absolute dream, and these bars don't leave a film or a slick spot over your skin at all. Plus, they feel absolutely wonderful against your skin.

I absolutely LOVE Devour Me Lickable Oil, and pina colada flavor is my favorite because...well, it's just delicious. This oil spreads well, feels good against your skin, and a little goes a long way. Oh, and it tastes good, too. Lick away!

As the icing on a very naughty cake, you'll get a bottle of Please Cream Lubricant, too. This lube is great for a number of things, but the most important thing is that it does its job and doesn't stain. It's easy to clean up after, it's easy to use and spread around, and it's easy to open the bottle, too. Ever had a bottle of lube that you just couldn't-no matter how hard you tried-get the bottle back open again after your hands were lubed up already, even though you needed just a bit more? Well, these have an easy push/snap type lids that allow you to just use your fingertip to snap and unsnap it. Problem solved...

Rhiannon's Rating: <3 <3 Two Hearts :)

Rhiannon's Tips & Suggestions: Use this for a regular night in. There's nothing super-spectacular here, but there are a lot of great little things that you might need. Great for a birthday gift, but not an anniversary or other romantic type gift.

Contact Rhiannon Mills at kellyshrewsbury@gmail.com for toy questions and queries or for book review questions or submissions. Allow 24-48 hours for a reply, and type either "toy" or "book review sub" in the subject line, please.

Today, Everyone Is Irish

2011-03-16T13:44:00.003-04:00

Welcome today's guest, Adrianne Brennen, all the way from Massachusetts! Happy St. Patrick's Day, Adrianne! - Rhiannon.

St Patrick's Day is what I like to call "Wear and Consume Something Green Day". It's also a good day for celebrating your Irish ancestry or an excuse to consume green beer--or any form of beer, really. In Boston, some employees get off for "Evacuation Day" and spend the day bar hopping and partaking of Irish music. I live near Boston and work downtown so it's very hard not to notice this holiday. I also happen to be of Irish descent. :)

What does it really mean, anyway? Why be proud to be Irish? If you have to ask this question, it's because you're unfamiliar with American history. Back in the day, there was a lot of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-Irish_racism anti-Irish sentiments and discrimination. You could get turned down for a job or even be barred from applying altogether if you were Irish. A good chunk of it was based in http://www.truth-it.net/irish_discrimination_in_america.html religious differences but it's still something to be aware of.

Some people today still persist in the "drunken Irish" stereotype, which depending on your perspective can be either annoying or amusing. Irish culture certainly has a different attitude on drinking than some of us, and I suspect what brought about Prohibition in the early twentieth century probably didn't help.

Of course, you may be reading this and asking yourself, "Who cares? That was nothing in comparison to how African-Americans and Muslims have and are treated." However, discrimination is discrimination. If you're going to be intolerant towards anything, be intolerant towards intolerance. I don't think any amount of prejudice should be tolerated.

Food for thought, and a reason not to feel bad about raising your beer glass today. Me, I'll probably try to find an Irish bar that sells Carlsberg and think about how much I really miss hanging out in Dublin.

Love & Magic,

Adrianne

www.adriannebrennan.com

Where to Find Adrianne Brennan

~ "Where love and magic meet" ~

http://www.adriannebrennan.com
Experience the magic of the Dark Moon series:

http://www.adriannebrennan.com/books.html#darkmoon
Dare to take The Oath in this erotic fantasy series:

http://www.adriannebrennan.com/books.html#the_oath
The future of psychic sex - Dawn of the Seraphs (m/m):

http://www.adriannebrennan.com/dawnoftheseraphs.html

Good Vibrations' Easy Breezy Kit

2011-03-14T16:22:00.000-04:00

I know, guys. I'm on a real kit kick here lately. There are so many reasons for this, but I won't get into that right now. I'll just say that it gives you more bang for your buck, so to speak. Good Vibes has so many great ones to offer, so when they're available for reviews, you can always count on me to write a review for them!

$34

I got the Easy Breezy Kit this morning, and was completely taken aback by the Easy Glider Vibe. I wasn't impressed with the look of it, but I gave it a shot anyhow. It's smaller than what I'd expected, thinner too. However, I've come to realize that not everything is the way it seems, so I grabbed the rest of the kit, ran off through the house with it, and got started.

The Ignite Me Massage Candle is great. You all know that I love those. Who doesn't love a multi-functional candle? It smells great (lavender), and when the wax starts to melt, it's transformed into some really awesome massage oil that won't burn off your flesh when you use it. Does it really get any better than this?

Rub Me Massage Bars are not my favorite things. They're nice, and they serve a good purpose, but in honesty, I could do without one in this particular kit. That being said, I still used it and it really, really feels awesome against bare skin. It comes in Amber Rose with this kit, and the smell is absolutely intoxicating. Bravo....

The big winner in this kit is the Please Cream Lube. I'd never tried this kind before. I'm a big fan of the Please Liquid Lubricant, and I liked the Please Warming Lube, too. The Cream Lubricant is awesome, actually, and that surprised me. I didn't think any of the other "Please" lubes would live up to the Please Liquid Lubricant. The Please Cream Lube did it's job and then some. Just a little bit goes a long way, and I didn't even need to reapply throughout the duration of use. A+ for the Please Cream Lube!

Back to that Easy Glider Vibe. That darn thing gave me a real workout! It's hard, and sort of reminds me of glass toys in the way that it's formed. The head is shaped oddly, but for good reason. I liked that part a lot. My suggestion for this vibrator is that you lube up quite well first, and maybe hold it in your hands to warm it up, unless you don't mind it if it's a tad below body temperature.

I used this vibe mostly for external stimulation at first, and I would suggest that you do it that way to if you're a beginner. It's insertable of course, but work into that easy. Take baby steps. In a nutshell, the Easy Glider Vibe is perfect in almost every single way. Go for it!

Rhiannon's Rating: <3 <3 <3 Three hearts!

Rhiannon's Tips & Suggestions: I would suggest using this kit with a partner. Light your candle, then use the melted massage oil/wax coupled with the Rub Me Massage Bar for a nice erotic massage. Run the tip of your Easy Glider over your lover's back. Get creative with it. Then, when you're ready, grab that lube and go to town. Experiment a little bit with it until you come up with something that works for you.

Product Spotlight

Try Me 12-pack Condom Gift Set

Try this!

I saw these and thought they were absolutely adorable, and would make for some interesting conversation with a date or a partner. There are twelve condoms in there, and each one is different. Hmm...I can think of a million things to do with these twelve condoms!

If you wish to contact me, Rhiannon Mills, it's easy as pie. Just email me here: kellyshrewsbury@gmail.com and leave me a message.

If you don't hear from me in a day or two, send it again! Sometimes my email goes batty.

Happy Fucking!

Boobs, Yard Work, and Hair...

2011-03-12T18:09:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking a lot this week about Spring, my most anticipated season (not favorite, just the most anticipated since winter is my least favorite).

With the coming of the warmer weather comes a lot of thoughts, thoughts that turn into sheer panic with the more they frequent my boggled, busy brain. These thoughts, for me, include cleaning the yard - cause mine looks like it could win that "Redneck Yard" award I've seen on tv - and upgrading my wardrobe as needed, and also working on toes skin. Oh, and that pesky thing called "Spring Cleaning" that comes around every year but never really goes away.

I think I'm odd, though. I think about things during this time period that are so ridiculous that I felt the need to blog about them. These things all pertain to my physical appearance in one way or another, so I want to know if any of you ever think of these things.

1. With the warm weather comes time to drag out the tank tops and spaghetti strapped camisoles and things with no sleeves of whatever orientation you want to throw them into. Naturally, I test them all out before I buy new ones, but I do this in a rather weird way. I try them on, stand in front of the mirror, and pull the bottom hem down a little. Then, I scrunch the bottom up a bit to see what it looks like worn. Then I square my shoulders and check my boobs out. If my boobs don't look good in the shirt, the shirt isn't bought. Simple as that...

2. I also have to make sure that my hair is ready for spring. I don't do anything fancy to my hair, maybe a trim, but I have to make sure to buy the right types of conditioners and hair lotions. Yes, I put special lotion in my hair to keep it from frizzing. Spring weather makes my hair friz, in turn making me look like Witchy-Poo...the little old witch in all the Bugs Bunny cartoons that always has hairpins flying out of her hair when she walks or runs or flies on her broom. I don't want great tits with witchy-poo hair.

3. Lip gloss is essential all year long, but in the spring, I have to have grape lip gloss, and I'm more prone to wearing certain shades of red lip coloring. I've already gotten an awesome tube of really, really red gloss that I ordered from my Avon lady. It's awesome. I look like a very sophisticated tramp. Mission accomplished! (Kidding on the tramp part...or am I?) I just like the red pucker. I've always loved red.

4. Flip flops are another must. But with the perfect pair of lazy flip flops, you also have to worry about toe nail colors. I like dark colors and red. Go figure...

Then there are all the other things I have to worry about with the coming of warm weather. Like, home improvements. Tomorrow I'm finally going to use that navy blue paint that I bought to paint the master bedroom with. FINALLY. Also, yard work tomorrow, too. Probably tomorrow evening. I can't wait for that, actually. It truly needs to be done.

So, writing, reading, and reviewing is, yet again, on a back burner. Housewivery is on the forefront, as usual, but with gusto. Oh, and while cleaning the yard, I'll wear a low cut top so that I can get some sun on those boobs cause they've been hiding all winter...kinda look like snow-woman boobs. :) I might even put tanning oil on them just for the occasion, even though it's not that warm yet, just warm enough to be outside without a winter coat on.

What are you guys working on this spring?

To contact Rhiannon Mills, you can email her any time you wish at: KellyShrewsbury@gmail.com.

You can also leave comments on this post. She checks comments daily because she's anal like that....

*Grins*...Anal...so funny, every time I hear the word, no matter which meaning!

HDH Burlesque Special: Dita Von Teese!

2011-03-09T20:11:00.000-05:00

Today I thought I'd do something a little different for HDH. I'm posting an entire HDH blog about a FEMALE hottie. That's right. You heard me correctly. As a straight woman myself, even I think Dita Von Teese is hot. Yeah, I'd hit that. I said it...I went there.

Oh, the vintage beauty! lol

Hot for teacher, are we? Hmm...I just really love her style. That woman has brains, beauty, and a little something else called BALLS.

For some reason, I love this picture. Makes me think to watch a few silent films whilst eating grapes on my sofa...wearing my new camisole and robe...lol

She looks great in green...

And here we have Dita doing what she's famous for...*sighs*...

Just one more...

Hope you've all enjoyed this week's HDH...Next week, who knows what I'll post. Unless I forget to post, like I do sometimes...Anyhow, ENJOY Dita.

Why Dan Dillard Doesn't Write Erotica...

2011-03-09T16:13:00.000-05:00

Hi guys. My friend, Dan Dillard, is stopping by today. Dan writes horror, which is the total opposite of what I write. Or is it? Think about it this way-horror and paranormal romance (actually MANY genres of romance) get your heart pumping, make you all wide eyed and bushy tailed, albeit in two very different ways.

So, with that being said, WELCOME to the Underworld, Dan...

Why I Don’t Write Erotica

by a Horror Writer

Because it’s all about me. As a dude, it would be boring.

She’s doing this to me, she’s doing that to me while her friend is doing this to me… and their other friend is in the kitchen getting me a sandwich and a beer.

Who wants to read that? Well… if there’s pictures, I’m in… Maybe if I was a woman it would make more sense to me… I mean, as I sit here reading Rhiannon’s blog and contemplating this banana, I get it… it’s compact, portable—snack size. But it makes me think about chimpanzees… My wife tells me that nothing is sexier than a guy who cleans and takes care of the kids. Confusing.

Writing fiction seems silly in itself—portraying things that don’t exist as if they did. What’s the point? Who knows really where the need for entertainment comes from? I suppose if our lives were so exciting, we wouldn’t need that escape. What’s funny, is those who have unbelievable lives full of excitement usually end up writing about them later. Is that so others might live the excitement as well? Or is it because they have slowed down? Their pace is now unacceptable and they need to relive the adventure.

I can’t answer these questions. I think each person writes, acts, performs, sculpts, paints or admires the work of others for different reasons, reasons as unique as the person. I write horror because it gives me a rush. A good scary or thrilling story gives the audience a chance to ‘survive’ something they likely wouldn’t survive in reality. There’s that safety net. The goal is to grip the reader, watcher, or admirer so tightly—immerse them so deeply that the leave your piece like they just lived through it, and not as an outside observer. I want them sweating, heart racing and full of adrenaline when it’s over. Horror and erotica, therefore, make a natural pair. The goal is the same- breathless.

Here’s where I ramble. I’ve often questioned the need for ‘the beautiful people’ cast in all romantic and horror films. It takes the pressure off the creator. If someone is attractive, they are immediately interesting. No character development necessary for the PG-13 crowd. They only see what they want to look like, how they want to dress, easy cool. Truth is, those iconic people fart, shit, get sick and have problems just like the rest of us. And once you dive into them, the sheen dulls. Maybe that’s why it needs to be shallow?

So create on, people! Look to your outlet. Find your audience. If it’s money you want, sell out. If it’s integrity, stick to your guns. Just make sure you do the right thing for the right reasons.

Dan was molded centuries ago, formed from pure sticky evil and the fiery blowing dusts of the deepest layer of hell. Everything since has been downhill. He can be found at the usual drunken hangouts:

Email me: demonauthor@gmail.com

http://www.facebook.com/thedemonauthor

http://www.facebook.com/demonauthor

Twitter: @demonauthor

his blog: http://demon-author.blogspot.com

I’m on Goodreads and elsewhere on the net looking for readers, projects, interviews, reviews, and some things I can’t mention here.

Shameless self promotion:

Check out “Demons and Other Inconveniences” and “What Tangled Webs” at your favorite online retailer or e-book store.

Watch out for his latest book coming from Hellfire Publishing on Beltane’s Eve!

PLEASE check out the “Scare It Forward” project called “Angel Island” here: http://williamcastle.com/blog/scare-it-forward/

And most of all, tell your friends I’m awesome. It would mean a lot.

Cool Stuff from GV, Not Toy Related!

2011-03-06T10:57:00.000-05:00

It's come to my attention that Good Vibrations has things on their site that are not directly toy related. I wanted to share some of these items with you, my dear friends...starting with kitchenware.

Kitchenware from GV...whodathunkit?

So, there are three different coffee mugs from GV, and all of them are awesome. I can't decide for myself which one I like the best, so I'm going to show you all three....

Creating a Buzz since 1977!

Making the world a sexier place...


Pleasure is your birthright...

These mugs are awesome, and are a minimal $10 a pop. Can't go wrong, there...

There are also shot glasses from Good Vibrations....Let's take a look, shall we?

Creating a Buzz since 1977

Making the world a sexier place

These are $6, and perfect if you're a collector. Well, even if you're not a collector and you just love Good Vibrations. Great gift ideas, too. I had the idea that a set of these (one of each?) would make awesome housewarming presents or gifts for a bride and groom to be!

Also, in the drinking devices department (lol) there are these great water bottles that I absolutely fell in love with. They run $18, and would be great for on the go folks who never have time to slow down and stop for a bottle of water. Also, these are ecofriendly. They're reusable, washable, and can help save the environment...who wouldn't love that?

Other cool stuff!

There are a lot of other really cool things, too. I'm going to show you what I mean...

Keychains...who doesn't love keychains? I have a million of them, and after I order these, I'll have a million and two...


$3 Square Crystal Keytag

Mirrored keychain

Note: the link to these is for everything under the "Accessories" section because I want to show you where EVERYTHING is...

Another cool thing I wanted to share was the Heart-Shaked Lock. Perfect to lock up your toy chests, or just to have because they're cool.

$12

Are you buying a gift for a friend? Need a cool bag to put it in? Look no further...there are two different ones from GV that you can choose from...

The one pictured above is the Ecorotic Canvas Tote Bag and will only run you $8, and it's reusable, too!

This one is called the Where Pleasures in the Bag Black Tote, and also runs $8. Also reusable.

Rhiannon's Tips & Suggestions: Buy one of the awesome tote bags and fill it with goodies for gifts. Include a shot glass, a mug, a keychain, the heart shaped lock and keys, and some awesome toys or even a kit that includes a book and a candle. Can't go wrong, there...

For all of your toy-related questions and queries, contact me. KellyShrewsbury@gmail.com!

If you need something and aren't sure what it is that you want, let me know. I'll hook you up with the right products through email and no one ever has to know. I have a strictly confidential policy :)

He Said/She Said

2011-03-03T14:56:00.000-05:00

Not sure why I put this tree here. I just like willows, okay...

"You have beautiful lips."

Male Translation: I want to have sex with you.

Female Translation: I could kiss you...if you weren't so smooth talkin'.

"I wish there was a game on tonight."

Male Translation: I'm bored.

Female Translation: You're getting on my nerves and I wanna go to the movies with my besties tonight.

"Are there any chicken wings left in the freezer?"

Male Translation: Cause if there aren't, you should go get some from the store for me.

Female Translation: I need something to shut you up!

"I'm too tired to have sex tonight."

Male Translation: I had sex already with someone else.

Female Translation: I'm too tired to have sex tonight...

"Could you hand me the remote control?"

Male Translation: ...so that I can totally ignore you and tune you out.

Female Translation: ...so I can turn it to something you can watch so that I can ignore you and tune you out.

"You should have seen that girl on the corner. She barely had any clothes on. Shoulda been ashamed of herself!"

Male Translation: Yeah, I'd hit that...

Female Translation: Yeah, she's a hooker with total issues. Somebody should help her off the streets...I wonder if there's a shelter nearby?

"I'm hungry."

Male Translation: Get in the kitchen and make something for me, woman!

Female Translation: Take me to dinner. Better yet, order in. I don't feel like cooking.

Understanding Book Reviews with Ellison James

2011-03-03T08:18:00.000-05:00

Hi guys! Today's guest blogger is a friend of mine and fellow author, Ellison James. I've read Ellison's work, and am so happy to have this author as a guest here today because Lovestruck Succubus was such a great story, something I couldn't have written better myself. I haven't written the review for that particular piece yet, but will be doing so this week. Um, hopefully. If there are no more catastrophes with the examiner's pub tool lol. Without further prattle from yours truly, here's what Ellison has to say about book reviews!~Rhiannon

Welcome, Ellison!

Understanding Book Reviews: For Readers and Authors

I was honored when Rhiannon invited me to be a guest on her blog. I struggled over what to write about, and finally decided on something near and dear to my heart-the book review.

For readers, a book review can be a very useful tool in helping them decide on whether to shell out their hard-earned money for a book. For writers reviews can also be a valuable tool, helping them understand what worked in their project and what did not work. A review can also help the writer grow and increase their skill in creating believable and exciting stories.

What is a book review?

If one searches the Internet for information on how to write a book review, they will likely find a plethora of articles on how to write a very effective and scholastic review for both fiction, and nonfiction books. Truth is there is no set standard for writing a review. What is important is that you write a review that covers how you felt about a story (being careful to not give spoilers) whether you would recommend the story to other readers, and/or a simple rating graphic such as stars.

Writing a review and using reviews for purchase decisions

Yes, I know that all those scholars want you to provide a brief synopsis of the story, listing all the characters and the general theme of the book, but why spend all that time summarizing the book when it can be found elsewhere. As a reader, all that explanation is of no use to me since I usually read a synopsis of the story before I buy. As an Author, this information is of no use to me as I wrote the story and know what is in it. There is no need to be technical when writing a review. A simple statement such as, “I loved “Story” and stayed up all night to finish it. I just couldn’t put it down,” means more to a perspective buyer, and to the author then two thousand characters of technical data. Some things to include when writing a review are the book title and author, a brief statement of the theme (if it helps you to gather your thoughts) your thoughts on characters and their actions, and a general idea of what you liked and/or disliked in the story. Never be afraid to say anything negative-just be prepared to defend it if you do. I’ve had some readers of my recent novel say in their review that they hated my main character for the first three chapters. I’m okay with that statement, and, honestly, I hated her too. She hated herself and what she was. I don’t think that this turned prospective readers away; rather, the statements evoked emotion. Sure, it may have been a negative emotion, but emotion, nonetheless. The important thing to me as the author, and to prospective readers, is that these reviewers also said they found themselves rooting for the main character later in the story.

How authors can make sense of reviews

Reviews often make or break a story for authors. A number of bad reviews can beat a book into obscurity, while great reviews can make a book break out and climb the bestseller list. While authors cringed at reviews containing anything negative, they must realize that these negatives can be used to create better stories. Yes, this means that the author must have a thick skin, and be willing to take criticisms and turn them into education.

The editorial review

Many authors aggressively seek editorial reviews for their work, myself included. An editorial review adds credibility to the book. As an author, be sure to give copies of your work out to professional or organizational reviewers, and use any positive statements for inclusion on your website or a bookseller site. But remember, while editorial reviews lend credibility, the reader review is what ultimately sells books!

The reader review

Reader reviews are the most powerful sellers of an author’s work. Unfortunately, this is something the author has absolutely no control over. The author can (and should) give copies of their books away to readers in exchange for a review, but they have no control over the review given by that reader.

Why are reader reviews so powerful? Simply because a reader review is the purest form of word-of-mouth advertising. When a reader provides a review, the author knows that, at the very least, that person read their book, and became emotionally charged enough to write their thoughts down for others to see. Whether their thoughts were positive or negative, they had a reaction and took the time and effort to tell others. Readers often read the reviews of other readers when making a purchase decision. I have no firm statistical data on this, but I’ve talked with many readers about how they make a purchase decision, and was told that they value the reviews of other readers above marketing hype, other author endorsements, and editorial reiviews.

The best review I’ve received so far for my current novel “Lovestruck Succubus” was by Teresa, purchasing my book from Amazon UK:

Found this book hard to put down. I'm a fan of paranormal books and film but have never read a paranormal erotic book before but thought I'd try it as a friend recommended it. The story pulls you in from the start and doesn't let you go. Highly recommended and eagerly awaiting the sequel, just need to know what is next in store for Azra and Raif!

What meant the most to me about this review was not so much that she had good things to say, but that she said the book was recommended to her by a friend. That means that my story was sold through word-of-mouth and, since she enjoyed the story, she would likely recommend it to others.

I’ve also had a review that said the book was hard to get into, and while this stung just a little, I realized that I needed to work on coming into the story closer to the action in my next book.

Reviews: an excellent source for readers and writers

So, readers, if you read a book that you really like, or dislike, write that review. It does not have to be fancy, just a simple statement like the one above speaks volumes.

Authors, get those stories out there and use positive reviews to your benefit or education. While a review can often make or break a book, it should not break the author. Use the positive to foster sales, use the negative to create better works in the future.

Ellison James writes a mix of paranormal fantasy, suspense, erotica, and crime fiction. The most current novel, “Lovestruck Succubus” is available everywhere in ebook and in paperback from Amazon. Look for the exciting sequel, “Demon among Wolves” later this year or follow Ellison at: http://ellison-james.blogspot.com or on goodreads for inside information, giveaways, and free short stories offered between novels.

Some Dudes Just Can't Take A Hint...

2011-03-02T18:48:00.000-05:00

I woke up this morning thinking that we would have just a normal day. You know, like, husband leaves to do the work thing, kids leave to do the school thing, and MOM stays home to do the cleaning thing. Boy, could I have ever been wrong! Turns out we had to go to Lowes while my in-laws took my daughter to the doctor. At least I got a new shower, sink, shower massager, and flooring materials out of the trip that kept me from my housework.

Got to Lowes and were there a grand total of ten minutes. I found a sink that I fell in love with-pedestal style. Cell phone rings and we had to rush on over to the lab because my daughter needed me for paperwork. We dropped everything, ran to the lab, and I helped her whiz in the stupid plastic cup. Then we had to go back to Lowes. Got there, picked out a shower and got a big, huge, gigantic buggy to put it, and our sink and massager in it. Then went to the lumber section to get lumber. I hung out at the end of an aisle so that the hubs could get the lumber.

Dude that works at Lowes passes and eyeballs me. I ignore it. I move to different location. Dude passes again and winks, then asks, "Anything I can help you with ma'am?"....Me, "Um, no thanks." I move to yet another location. Same dude passes by again and smiles, then says, "That buggy sure looks heavy. Want me to help you with it?"...Me, "No. I can handle it." After all, those buggies are easy to maneuver. Just gotta make sure you don't knock into things.

I move to another location, yet again, and here he comes...yet again. "Your equipment looks awfully heavy, ma'am. I can help you if you want me to get something down for you or help you push that thing."

Me, "REALLY?! I'm fine. No thanks!" Meanwhile, I hear my husband's notoriously loud laugh from three aisles over, so I decide to move. Yet again...

Here comes my annoying helpy-helper, who works at Lowes and thinks it's okay to aggravate customers and ask if he can help them with their heavy equipment. "If ya need anything, I'm happy to help," he says to me as he whizzes by with a load of lumber. "NO thanks, dude," by this time I'm rolling my eyes. Then, I was suddenly thankful cause the hubs was ready to check out. So, he brought the buggy of lumber to my side and parks it in the checkout next to my buggy of heavy equipment, and says he's gonna go get the truck and park it out front for easy loading. Then, he leaves to do just that.

Here comes that guy again. He takes the handle to one of the buggies and pushes it closer to the checkout for me and says, "I knew you might need a hand eventually," and he grins at me like the cat who ate the canary.

The guy at the register looks at the guy helping me and says, "There's a customer on aisle whatever that needs help."

Thank you guy at the register!!!!

So, my helper leaves and I check out and pay the man at the register. Then, I move both buggies outside to the curb and look for my husband's truck. Here comes Mr. Heavy Equipment.

"Can I help you with that?" He asks me.

Dude, REALLY?????!!!!!

I smiled sweetly and bat my eyelashes like the best of 'em, and say, "Well, I don't need help now, but maybe later."

He looked like he'd won the lottery and raised his eyebrows, and in his best man-hitting-on-a-woman voice, says, "So, when would you like me to help you?" He even leaned on one of the buggies with his elbow.

I folded my arms over my chest and smiled sweetly again. "When my husband gets the truck over here, he's gonna need some help loading that truck. I mean, I don't think I'll be much help, but you look strong enough!"

Yeah, I went there...So, when the hubs got over there with the truck, he helped my husband load everything into the back, and struck up a conversation about the truck's gas mileage and such. I got into the truck while they loaded it and laughed to myself while I lit a cigarette. Yeah, life is good sometimes.

To contact Rhiannon Mills, you can email her at KellyShrewsbury@gmail.com with any book related concerns, toy questions or if you need help choosing something from Good Vibes. All toy-related questions and queries are strictly confidential :)

G Marks the Spot!

2011-03-02T15:27:00.000-05:00

With Good Vibrations awesome G Marks the Spot Kit, you get a quality "me time" kit.

$36 G Marks the Spot Kit, GV

When I got the Gyro-G Vibrator out of the box, I was amazed. It was bigger than I had thought it would be, but that's not a bad thing at all. I honestly thought it would be some rinky-dink trinket that would wind up at the bottom of my toy box in less than a week. I was wrong, though.

The Gyro-G Waterproof Vibrator is functional and pretty at the same time. It's shape is absolutely perfect for G-Spot stimulation and exploration. It's easy to hold, and very easy to adjust the vibration intensity. The little ball on the end of the vibe turns so that you can dial it up to the perfect level for you.

There are a lot of cool things you can do with this vibe. Obviously, it's designed for your G-spot, but you can look further than that. The tip of it is shaped perfectly to circle and stimulate your clit, too, for non-penetration play. It's waterproof, so Gyro can join you in a shower or bath (or hot tub, swimming pool, lake, ocean, river, car wash, kitchen sink-wherever you really want to go with it).

The Good Vibrations G-Spot guide that comes with this kit is absolutely a dream for those who are still yet a bit confused about the entity known as the G-Spot. If you don't know how a woman ejaculates, it will tell you. It will also explain that not every woman's body is designed for that type of thing. Just know that if you can't find your G-Spot, that doesn't mean something's wrong with you. That just means you can have a lot of fun looking for it. Think of it as an adventure (got your exploration hats and boots on?).

The Please Gel Lubricant, I hate to say, is not my favorite lube. My favorite is the Please Liquid Lubricant. Plain old regular tried-and-true. Just know this, though. The gel quickly liquifies with your body and worked quite well after I got used to it. I just don't like change, at least not where lubes are concerned. It did the trick, though. After a few minutes I'd forgotten my fear of the unknown (lube, that is lol) and was having fun with the Gyro-G.

Rhiannon's Rating: <3 <3 <3 Three Hearts!

Rhiannon's Tips & Suggestions: While you can use this kit with a partner, it's best use would be solo. If you're buying this kit, I assume that you have questions about the mythical g-spot and would like to explore it further. The book that comes with this kit is extremely informative and thorough. There are pictures in there that explain how a woman's body is laid out, and believe it or not, your high school anatomy teacher was right-study the pictures, and you might just learn something without meaning to.

Rhiannon's Product Spotlight:

Please Liquid Lubricant is awesome. I've raved about it before, and as you know, it's very close to your body's own lubricant. When you don't want something to warm, tingle, or do anything fancy, and you just want the tried-and-true lube to do its job and nothing else, this stuff does the trick and is very affordable and handy. You can even get it with a pump!

This lube also comes in 2 oz., 8 oz., or 16 oz. sized bottles. They're handy for just about anything. Oh, and they work well with MOST toys.

You can contact Rhiannon Mills by emailing her at kellyshrewsbury@gmail.com with any problems or questions that you may have concerning toys or product suggestions and she will get with you asap. Thank you for dropping by Rhiannon's Paranormal Bits & Pieces!

I Love This Blog Award

2011-03-01T08:10:00.000-05:00

Dale Eldon has given me the "I Love This Blog" award, and it really brightened my day. Thanks, Dale! He's a good friend of mine, fellow writer, and fellow blogger. I love winning blog awards. It strokes my ego...You can find Dale Eldon's Blog easily here, and I would suggest that you do. Interesting stuff there :)

Here's how the award works:

1. Thank and link back to the person who gave you the award.

2. Share seven things about yourself.

3. Award up to 15 blogs that are deserving. (I’m awarding two.)

4. Contact those bloggers and let them know about the award.

7 Things about me...

1. I'm the proud mother of four, and I also have a son who passed away in 2005.

2. I'm an author and work with mostly vampires, although my current WIP is about a Demon King, and I've been working on it since before Immortal Ties was published.

3. I do not have any tattoos, and sometimes that shocks people. For some reason folks assume that I'm covered in them. In reality, I'm not lol. I have my 2 lip rings and my eyebrow ring and that's it for body modifications for this gal.

4. My favorite colors are blue, navy blue, gray, and sea green. . .all the colors of the ocean! I love the water.

5. I'm terrified of big bridges, and sometimes small ones. I don't like driving, riding, or walking across them. TERRIFIED!!!

6. I love Bob Dylan, Alice Cooper, Fleetwood Mac (I was named after the song "Rhiannon"), and a lot of classic rock. I also love newer stuff like Sneaker Pimps, Enya, and Tori Amos (cause I love the sound of piano, and she ROCKS the piano!)....I also really love Janis Joplin.

7. A dream home of mine would be to live in a cabin by the sea, somewhere nobody could find me if I wanted to hide. I love the ocean in the winter best, and I think I could write great things there in my imaginary dream home place.

I'm giving this award to...

1. Dale Eldon's Blog (Dale Eldon)

2. Ireland Ever After (Lesley Hager Concanon)

Thanks Everybody :)

Facing the Inner Lesbian with Lawrence Block

2011-02-28T14:06:00.000-05:00

Today, dear friends, I've invited vintage erotica writer, Lawrence Block/Jill Emerson to contribute and share a little bit with us. You're in for a real treat with this. I've reviewed Jill's work myself, and I'm happy that Lawrence agreed to share her with us. Thanks, Lawrence! ~Rhiannon Mills

STAYING IN TOUCH WITH MY INNER LESBIAN

By Lawrence Block

Jill Emerson was born in 1963, when I was a twenty-five year old guy with a wife and two kids and a mortgaged home in a suburb of Buffalo, New York. For several years I’d been supporting all that by writing—crime stories for magazines like Manhunt and Trapped and Guilty, crime novels for Gold Medal and Belmont, psychosexual case histories for Monarch Books, and a ton of soft-core sex novels for Nightstand and Midwood.

Then my agent and I had a falling out, and my most important source of income, Nightstand, turned out to be a closed shop, committed to buying only from that particular agent. I had to scramble to make ends meet, and in the course of so doing I decided to develop a new persona and write a lesbian novel.

So I sat down and wrote a book called Warm & Willing, very generously reviewed not long ago on this very website, and sent it in over the transom to Midwood Books. The byline was Jill Emerson, and that was also the name on the cover letter. They bought it by return mail, and I wrote a second novel for them, which I and they called Enough of Sorrow. (I’m not sure what my title was for the first book, but I know it wasn’t Warm & Willing.)

And Jill Emerson was born.

This was not my first contact with my Inner Lesbian. My very first novel, completed within a few days of my twentieth birthday, concerned a recent college graduate’s sexual identity crisis in Greenwich Village. It, too, sold to the first publisher who saw it, Fawcett Publications’ Crest imprint. I called it Shadows, and had a female pen name picked out. Rhoda Moore, I think it was. But the publishers changed the title to Strange Are The Ways of Love, and slapped the name Lesley Evans on it. (Strange are the ways of publishers, believe me.)

So here I was, five years later, back in touch with my lesbian self. I very much enjoyed being Jill Emerson, and the editors at Midwood never found out I was anybody else. That’s how they addressed mail to me, and that’s the name they put on my checks. (Those were more innocent times. I could endorse a third-party check, simply by writing Jill Emerson on the back, and then deposit it in my own account. Nowadays the whole business would be a lot harder to manage.)

I know I got a real kick out of the deception involved. Years earlier, I’d written eight or ten books for Midwood, and it would have been much safer and more certain to approach them under my own name; they weren’t a closed shop, and they’d have given me a warm welcome. But Jill Emerson was a character I was creating, as much as any of the characters within my novels, and I was having fun.

Cut ahead a few years. I was living in Racine, Wisconsin, when I wrapped up Enough of Sorrow; we’d moved there when I took a real job as editor of a magazine for coin collectors. I was there for a year and a half, writing nights and weekends and getting a couple of books done. And then I resigned to return to the New York area; by then I had a new agent and a couple of book deals, and concentrated largely on crime fiction.

I guess it must have been 1969 when Jill got back in the game. Another paperback publisher— Berkley Books, a cut and a half above Midwood—was starting a new line of well-crafted erotic novels, and my agent got me a deal. The money was decent—$5000 a book, if I remember correctly—and what they wanted was not Nightstand-type sleaze but literate erotic realism.

From a sexual standpoint, the late 1960s was an interesting time in American fiction. A lot of silly taboos were lifted, and plain speech and candid description were suddenly to be found in novels that got reviewed in The New York Times.

Everybody’s books got hotter, and a writer like John Updike could suddenly write a book like Couples.

And Jill Emerson wrote Thirty and Threesome and A Madwoman’s Diary.

These books were not specifically lesbian fiction, although I’m certain each had a lesbian component. Nor was the publisher under the illusion that the books were written by Jill Emerson. (Or indeed by a woman at all; my agent had made up a male cover name for me.)

There was almost a fourth Jill Emerson book for Berkley. I wrote, in a Dexedrine-fueled four-day stretch, an epistolary novel consisting of the letters from and to the lead character, one Laurence Clarke. I got various friends to read the manuscript, and they all found it screamingly funny and insisted it was too good to waste its fragrance in the paperback-original desert. My agent sent it to Bernard Geis, who brought it out in hardcover as Ronald Rabbit is a Dirty Old Man, by Lawrence Block.

That made a sort of sense, actually, in that all of the Jill Emerson books had female protagonists, while both Laurence Clarke and Ronald Rabbit were unmistakably male. But in another sense it was very much a Jill Emerson novel, in that I wrote it with utter certainty that it would bear that name when it saw print.

Ronald Rabbit didn’t sell many copies, but it represented a triumph of another sort. As I noted in the copy I inscribed for my mother, “for years I’ve written dirty books under pen names. Now I’m able to present you with a dirty book with my own name on it.”

Jill Emerson, however, was not to be denied a hardcover novel of her own. Berkley, Putnam’s paperback line, had decided to spin off its own hardcover imprint---called, imaginatively, Berkley Hardcovers. And someone there remembered Jill (whom they thought to be some guy) and called my agent. They wanted a Peyton Place-type novel, a hot multiple-viewpoint book set in a small community somewhere.

I proposed Bucks County as a setting. My then-wife and I were living nearby, in New Jersey, and for a year I’d had an art gallery across the river in New Hope. The place was hip and trendy, and a writer named Edmund Schiddel had spent some time on the bestseller list with The Devil in Bucks County, a novel rather like the one they wanted me to write.

It was something of a departure for Jill---and for me as well, a big sprawling book, longer and more complex than anything I’d written. Looking back, I think it’s rather like the curate’s proverbial breakfast egg: parts of it are very good.

If Jill was edging toward respectability (and I suppose that depends how you define it) she got there with her seventh book, A Week as Andrea Benstock, published in hardcover by Arbor House and serialized in Redbook Magazine. It was technically ambitious, telling the story of ten years of a young woman’s married life in seven chapters, each chronicling the events of a single representative day during that decade. And it was artistically ambitious, in that Andrea was a Jewish girl living in Buffalo, and I was using my own background as I had never done before.

Don Fine owned and ran Arbor House at the time, and my agent sold him the book, and he thought he was going to meet Jill Emerson only to have me show up. He tried his damnedest to get me to put my own name on the book, insisting that critics would take it more seriously if it was a man’s work. (I always felt this said more about Don and his own personal feelings about women writers than it did about the business.) My own opinion, which I was not at all shy about defending, was that, Madame Bovary notwithstanding, a book about a woman would get a more sympathetic reading if people thought a woman wrote it.

I believed what I said, but looking back I think it had little to do with my insistence. This was, you see, a deeply personal book---and I felt more comfortable being somebody else when I published it.

All seven of Jill’s books vanished over the years, pretty much without a trace. But now, through the genuine miracle of ebooks, they’re all available again.

And come September they’ll be joined by a brand-new novel.

Curiously enough, a couple of years ago I thought I was finished with book-length fiction. I’ve been writing the stuff for half a century, and the sixty-plus books published under my own name are only a fraction of the writing I’ve done. I figured enough was enough; I’d go on writing the occasional short story, plus the columns I do for Linn’s Stamp News and Mystery Scene, but maybe it was time to leave the heavy lifting of novels for the boys and girls with stronger backs.

Well, shows what I know. In May, a new Matthew Scudder novel is due from Little Brown, and a scant four months later, in September, Hard Case Crime will publish Getting Off as its first hardcover book ever. The subtitle is “A Novel of Sex & Violence,” and the byline reads “By Lawrence Block writing as Jill Emerson.”

I like the idea of a transparent pen name; that same byline is the one I chose for Open Road’s ebook editions of Jill’s first seven works. And I like very much that Jill’s name is on this new book, because it is very much a part of her oeuvre.

The protagonist is a bright and attractive young woman who meets men, goes home with them, has highly enjoyable sex with them—and then takes great delight in killing them. She is the sort of girl who ought to have a curl in the middle of her forehead, because when she is bad she is very very bad indeed, and you might even call her horrid. But I have to tell you I flat-out love this girl, and never had more fun writing about anybody. Getting Off is blazingly erotic and furiously violent, and I blush to admit how much I like it.

Jill Emerson. Will there be more books from her? Well, I dunno. I never know what I’m going to write next, or, at this stage, if I’m going to write anything at all. But I hope we’ll hear more from Jill. I for one would love to hear what she has to say.

LAWRENCE BLOCK is a Mystery Writers of America Grand Master, with a string of awards to show for his efforts. His Jill Emerson novels are all newly available as Open Road ebooks for all major platforms: Kindle, Nook, Apple, Kobo, Sony Reader, etc.

Touch A Touch Me Kit

2011-02-25T15:30:00.000-05:00

I know I've mentioned to you guys that I love kits from Good Vibrations. The experts that bundle the awesome products together really know what they're doing, people. That's why they're the experts and we're the smiling buyers. It's a working relationship.Just go with it...lol

I got the Touch A Touch Me Kit today, brought to me by the hunky UPS man that I know you've heard me give serious props to in here before, and I was absolutely in love with it before I even used it. Many, many factors contribute to my conclusion that this kit is a must have in anyone's bedroom.

First off, you get the Touch Me Erotic Massage Game. That's a deck of 154 cards that have helpful massage hints and tips. You can use these cards as a read through on how to give a wonderful erotic massage or you can follow the instructions with the cards and play along nicely. Either way, somebody's getting one helluva massage out of the deal. The coolest thing about the cards is that there are different ways to use them, as I said. You can even make up your own game with these.

You also get an 8 oz. bottle of nude (unscented) Touch Me Massage Oil. If you're thinking that 8 oz. isn't enough, you're wrong. A dime sized amount poured into the palm of your hand will spread very easily on a very large plot of flesh (like your lover's back). The bottle itself is sized to fit in your hand easily so that you won't slip and slide it all over the place mid-massage, and the lid is one of those that you just push in and the opening where the fluid comes out pops up, which is also a plus because you can set the bottle on a table top while you're massaging. When you need a little more-if you do-you can just pick it up again. No worrying over whether the lid's on tight enough so that it doesn't spill all over your table. Even if it did spill, it cleans up rather easily. I know because I spilled some on my shirt.

The kit also comes with one of my favorite GV products, the Ignite Me Massage Candle, in pomegranate mint. I love those candles! Not only do they smell nice, but they work for you. They multi-task. Other candles that you buy in stores can look nice, smell nice, and match your rugs (or whatever) but these candles are multi-functional. They look nice, smell nice, and then when they've been lit a few minutes, the wax magically transforms into massage oil that won't burn your skin. It's warm, but it won't melt your flesh off, and unless you're into melting flesh, that's a very good thing!

Rhiannon's Rating: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 Five hearts!!!

Rhiannon's Tips & Suggestions: This kit is perfect for an after dinner date in, a night when your partner is extremely tired and you want to pamper them a bit, or any other time when somebody just wants a good massage. Use the cards first to get yourself ready for whatever massaging you plan on doing, and then light your candle. Relax. Use that oil to slick down your partner's entire body and ready them for the massage. You can set the stage by using several pillows and soft music for atmosphere, too. That always helps. There needn't be any sex involved at all, either, unless you want there to be. In my opinion, however, this kit promotes closeness and intimacy and that's pretty priceless.

Rhiannon's Product Spotlight:

Contour Ceramic Massage Stones

JimmyJane delivers yet again with this contraption. It would go perfectly with the Touch A Touch Me Kit, and would be just fine on its own as well, although I would suggest that you use some massage oil with it. I ran across this today and thought I'd share it with you. I hear nothing but good things about these.

You can contact Rhiannon Mills by emailing her at kellyshrewsbury@gmail.com with any problems or questions that you may have concerning toys or product suggestions and she will get with you asap. Thank you for dropping by Rhiannon's Paranormal Bits & Pieces!

I have haters...and I love them!

2011-02-24T08:33:00.000-05:00

Yeah, awesome covers!

I've been battling it out with some knuckle-dragging idiot on topix.com for quite some time now, comment by comment. Ever been on that site? Well, it's nothing but gossip, but sometimes there are actually helpful threads about power, water, storms, wrecks-that sort of thing.

Topix is the type of site where people hide behind fake names so that they can gossip without anyone knowing who said what. In a town this small, I don't see where it's necessary to use fake names. It's a coward's way to talk trash without having to back it up when they piss somebody off. I use my pen name in there so that everyone knows it's me, Rhiannon Mills. I have nothing to hide. Unfortunately, while reading a thread about one of my jail-bird cousins, I was attacked for having an opinion...on a public forum...

After reading the first thread or two, I commented, asking if the author of that thread if they had anything else better to do. I was then asked if I didn't have anything else better to do-like write a book.

I'm so serious. That's what they said.

It was also said that he hasn't read my books, but his friend has. His friend was "schooled in literature" and said that my books suck.

That's fine. Opinions are like ass holes. Everybody's got one. The thing is, I get paid for my opinion. They don't. Also, there are a lot of folks out there who actually do like my work. Enough people, it seems, that my inbox fills up every hour-meaning I always have a shit ton of stuff to go through when I get up every morning, before I pick Tristan up from school, and before I go to bed. Every. Single. Day.

It aggravates me to my core. NOT that someone doesn't like my books, but because people are so ridiculous. What ever happened to "live and let live" or "can't we all just get along?"....

For those of you who don't live in Southern West Virginia, lemme give you the skinny. Everyone here either works in the coal mines, their husband works in the mines, or they were raised by the mines. That's just our culture. It's a very respectable trade, and it's one of the hardest jobs on the planet. Everyone here also has an opinion, it seems, and apparently they like to spread their opinions using fake names. This town has been over run with drugs-and I mean it's EVERYWHERE-and every single family in WV has been affected by pills. It's a horrible thing, but so true. The rest of us (non-drug users) are left to pick up the pieces and defend our houses from robberies and such, defend our children from the drug use, and defend our town as a whole. That's why I was on topix to begin with. I wanted to see what one of my cousins had done this time. Frankly, no one ever tells me anything, so I had to dig it up myself! lol.

So, naturally, when I asked this nameless individual if he didn't have anything else better to do, he must have realized that he didn't. That's when he decided to use the ONE little thing he knows about me and run with it. That's okay, fella. However, he should know one thing. I'm smiling through all of this. Hey-bad publicity is good publicity, right?

Open invite to the coward who hid behind the alias-email me. Comment on my blog. Find me on facebook, if you're not already there. It's obvious that you keep up with me AND my work, so you might as well join the train wreck, eh? I'd be more than happy to agree to disagree if you would.

Who Writes Sex Scenes? We do!!!

2011-02-21T12:00:00.000-05:00

When you're reading a romance or erotica novel and you come across a sex scene, what are you really thinking about the author?

Are you imagining some sex-deprived young vixen? What's she wearing? Is she in a black lace teddy? Is her makeup stripper worthy? Lemme guess. She has on the black lace teddy, her skin is perfectly slicked with oil, she's wearing a pair of black thigh-high panty hose, and has one million-inch heels, right? Oh, and her platinum blond hair is perfectly tousled and pinned on top of her head, where tiny little curls are cascading down her shoulders. Oh yeah, and she's typing with one hand while rubbing herself all over with the other hand, right? Am I close to what you might imagine?

Here's a closer look to what some people think. The author of said sex scenes is also licking her thick red lips, giving her computer screen bedroom eyes, and everything she's writing comes straight from her own sexcapades index in her memory. Right? As she's writing, she's thinking of a penis. Not any penis, a ten inch long penis, and she wants it so bad that she just has to write her fantasies out. Oh, and she's just dying with lust for all of your husbands.

Boy are you people ever wrong. Let me set the record straight with you. No. NO NO NO. Erotica and romance writers are all different. We're people, not fembots with great computer and writing skills.

Here's a clearer, though generalized, picture of who is really writing the sex scenes in romance and erotic novels and stories.

She's plum damned frustrated because she's trying to gear the hero and heroine's body parts in the right direction for the outcome of the feat she's trying to accomplish in her WIP. She's likely wearing flannel pajama pants and a floppy tee shirt with coffee stains and possibly a kitty cat on it that says "Wake Me When There's Coffee." And yeah, she's typing one handedly because the other hand is gripping her coffee mug (Where else would the coffee stains on her kitty cat pajama tee shirt come from?). And, there are no heels on her feet most of the time. She probably has on footies or regular socks. Likely covered in cat hair.She's also pushing her reading glasses up on her nose because they keep slipping because she's been wearing them all morning and they're starting to feel like an extra body part.

She might not even have makeup on. Okay, maybe a quick smear of chap-stick. Her hair is probably a mess because she keeps trying to pull it out out of sheer frustration with her manuscript and/or editors. Her body isn't slicked in oil, but more than likely smells like Palmolive because she was washing dishes a minute before starting her writing wad for the day. Possibly even lemon scented furniture polish, too.

One thing's for sure, though. She probably is licking her lips. Not because she's waiting for someone to stick an appendage in her mouth, but because she has a toast crumb stuck to the chap-stick and it's bothering her.

No, she doesn't yearn for a ten inch penis. She yearns for a break, and it doesn't look like it's going to happen anytime soon because she has deadlines. Um, as a side note, though, a ten inch penis isn't on a woman's mind. That's just scary as hell. Who on earth has a vagina deep enough to accommodate a penis that size? I don't want to know the answer, but think about that. Geesh!

She probably doesn't want anyone else's husband either. She probably actually has her own fella, and is dying to get this scene done so she can go spend time with him. And by the way, his penis probably isn't ten inches long, either.

It's always a good idea not to generalize, but I did this anyhow, after receiving a message from some man I've never met who decided that since I write sex and all things sex related, I was hot to trot and ready for the picking. Boy, is he ever wrong. I'm in my pajamas and my nose is bright red because it's running like a freight train and I'm really gross right now. I'm sick lol. So, for anyone else who decides to label writers because of the things that they write, you really have a lot to learn, here...

Email Rhiannon Mills at KellyShrewsbury@gmail.com :)

Another Weeping Willow Dream...

2011-02-20T13:19:00.000-05:00

Cold water rushes just a few feet below where I stood. Boots planted firmly on the grass at the edge, I hear the words repeated through time and space, the words that I could never understand completely, words that confuse me.

"You are me, and I am you." The words are whispered, low, gruff, and bring goosebumps to my skin as he repeats them over and over-so low that I can't really grasp who they're coming from.

Lightening strikes over the graying, blackening, maddening sky, and as it does, thunder accompanies it, and I feel pushed even closer to the edge of the freezing cold water. I can't see what's pushing me, but I can feel it. I would have no choice soon but to jump in.

I can see the fish in the water, but they are not colorful and inviting. No longer peaceful creatures, they are circling the water below I stand, gnawing and gnashing their teeth. What's more, the fish were absolutely huge and a steel shade of gray, rather than oranges and blues as I had seen before in those waters. These fish could shred your skin right off the bone if you were to swim with them. These fish were killers.

"Jump. I'll save you. Just jump. Do it. Now." The whispers are more urgent now, but begging, pleading, urging me into the ice-cold water. "I'll catch you."

My first thought was that I should try to get to my tree, our precious weeping willow on the hill where the barely marked graves are. Unfortunately, the wind roared so loudly and so harshly that it didn't seem to be an option. I felt another urgent push, and I knew what I had to do. I had to jump into the lake and face the terrifying fish in the depths.

The wind and rain was whipping the waters every which way, and the cold drops from angry clouds were hitting my skin violently, angrily leaving red welts where they found me.

I can no longer see where the lake ended. It was going on and on like the ocean, and the pier was gone, too, along with the tiny dock that had just been less than ten feet away from where I stood.

"Hurry. Jump. I'll catch you." Even in the middle of a catastrophe, my mystery man in blue-though I couldn't see him and didn't know where he was-was still calm in his whispers. I trembled, but I could suddenly feel his presence behind me. One cold hand swept the hair away from my face, pulling it behind my neck as he whispered, "I'll catch you. We're running out of time and options. Hurry."

Without thinking, I backed up, sucked in as much air as I could, and then ran forward, right into the splintering cold water below. The water felt like a thousand knives hitting my skin, like I was being cut from every angle there. When I opened my eyes while I sank to the bottom, trying to paddle my way back up to the surface, I realized why it felt like knives cutting me. It was the fish biting and gnawing into my flesh.

To get out of their way, I swam forward, somewhere between the bottom of the lake and the surface, and kept going until I heard his voice again, urging me forward. Then, I could see him. He was swimming towards me in his navy blue uniform. His face when underwater is hazy, even though I can never see it-not even above water. Below the surface, however, it is almost more comforting than usual.

With the fish following me, waiting until they can tear into my flesh again, I find him, though my body is weak from the beating it had just taken. Safe and warm in his arms, I close my eyes, and we're under the weeping willow tree again. Even though I am bleeding from nearly everywhere, I am safe with him once more, and as tired as I am, it is welcoming to be next to the mysterious gravestones and my tree. The most rewarding part was that he'd kept his promise to save me from the horrible flesh-eating fish.

It was still storming outside, so we walked together into the big white house with sheets all over the furniture and no electricity.

Then I woke up...

Playing With Fire All By Yourself...

2011-02-17T14:19:00.001-05:00

$45 Good Vibrations

The Playing With Fire Kit from Good Vibrations has everything you could ever possibly want for a night in by yourself, or even with a partner if you so choose.

The first thing I loved about this particular kit is that there's a book involved. It just so happens that I'm an author and a book reviewer myself, so naturally, this really made me smile. It made me blush a little, too. Actually, the book brought a sly little smile to my face after I opened it up. It's choc full of erotic stories and tales that really puts you in the mood for some self love. Before there was porn, after all, there were erotic stories and books. Erotic stories were whispered from one lovers lips to another lover's ear around a campfire before the wheel was invented. This 170 page, 22 story, book certainly makes for an interesting night.

You also get the Red Hot Bullet with this kit. It's smooth, waterproof, and has four speeds. I could get used to this thing! I love the waterproof toys because with them you are limitless as to where you can take them. It's absolutely perfect and easy to use for a first time vibrator user.

The kit also comes with a bottle of Please Warming lube (2 oz.). Warming lubes are great for a lot of different things, but the sensation from this particular lube is one that lingers just the right amount of time, and it's incredibly easy to wash off.

I love candles, and this kit comes with an Ignite Me massage candle in Pomegranate Mint. I absolutely love the smell of Pomegranate Mint! It's absolutely delicious. Also, when the wax in the candle begins to melt, it magically transforms into massage oil. It's like having a sexy massage wizard waving his magic wand over your candle in this kit!

Rhiannon's Rating: <3 <3 <3 <3 Four Hearts!

Rhiannon's Tips & Suggestions: While you can opt to use this stuff with a partner, I would use it alone. Even the candle. Start by making yourself comfortable on the sofa or in your bed, and start reading your book with your candle lit somewhere close so that you can smell it, and believe me, you'll love Pomegranate Mint Ignite Me Massage Candles. When you feel like you can't handle anymore of the book, employ the use of your new vibrator and warming lube. When you feel like you need a break, pour some of the massage oil from your candle wherever you wanna put it.

Saddle up your Dirty Cowboy and Enjoy the WILD RIDE KIT!

2011-02-17T13:57:00.002-05:00

The coolest thing about the Wild Ride Kit is that it comes with a book, so let's start there.

$36 Wild Ride Kit

The book is 217 pages full of interesting things. I thought I knew every position known to man (thanks to the Kama Sutra) until I flipped through the pages of "Ride 'Em Cowgirl!' by Dr. Sadie Allison. There's even a section titled "Voluptuous Lovin'" geared towards sex for the plus-sized Cowgirls and Cowboys (that includes me, by the way), and also a section titled "Pregnant Poses" geared towards...well, duh. Pregnant women! I was highly impressed with this.

For plus-sized ladies and gentlemen, sometimes sex can get tricky. Though, I would have loved for the section to be a little bit longer, it was still great that the author included it in there. Pregnant sex, from what I can remember, is also tricky. I remember being 9 months pregnant, ready to do it doggystyle, and then totally miffed because we had to change positions due to the fact that my belly was rubbing the floor!

Another cool thing you get with this kit is the O Yeah Vibrating couple's ring. This ring runs on watch batteries and is really neat to play with. The ring on the end of it is stretchy and comfortable to fit around a penis. Overall, I wasn't overly impressed with it, but it certainly does its job. You can saddle up your dirty Cowboy and ride him till the cows come home with this ring. It's in it for the long haul because, though it may not seem like it, it's really durable.

One of the best products that Good Vibrations has available is the Please liquid lubricant. The Wild Ride Kit comes with a 2 oz. bottle, and it's great for every sort of lube need you may ever have. What I like about this particular lube is that it's very similar to your body's own lubricant. I also like that it doesn't warm, tingle, or anything else. It just does its job, and it does it well. It's also easy to clean up after. That's a bonus!

Rhiannon's Rating: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 Five Hearts!

Rhiannon's Tips & Suggestions: Plan to receive this kit alone. Before you share it with your partner, go through the book, up one side and down the other-cover to cover-and see if anything in there is something that you haven't tried yet or if you're inspired for anything new. Put your lube and O Yeah cock ring someplace where you know you can get to them when the time is right. When your partner comes home, share the wealth (of sex materials, that is) and after you've had your naughty way with your dirty Cowboy, then share the book.

Tuesdays With Rourk & Tor...

2011-02-15T09:40:00.000-05:00

*This is the very first Tuesday with Rourk and Tor stopping by...this should be fun!*

For those of you who don't know it, Rourk and Tor are characters in my Immortal series. Rourk is a very talented vampire slayer, and Tor is a male fairy, excommunicated from the fairy world for killing unicorns for their powers. These guys are so much fun, I decided to invite them to be blog guests, and here they are!

Me: Hi guys! What's going on in the Underworld?

Rourk: *Rummages through cabinets in my kitchen, grabs a box of cookies*...Eh, Corey's all obsessed with throwing this ball she's obsessed with and Simon says I can't take his chopper out anymore...*stuffs mouth with chocolate chips*

Me: What did you do?

Tor: *Stands against counter with arms folded across his delicious bare chest*...That dork wrecked a chopper last week, showing off. All because Lilly was watching! *Handsome smirks*

Rourk: *Talks with mouth full of cookies*...Rawlooffen Ooo gghtedshnappen!

Me: What? *raises eyebrow*

Tor: *Rolls eyes*

Rourk: *Frustrated frown* I said I didn't mean for that to happen!

Tor: *Sinister laughs*...He sideswiped two demon guards and ran right into the gates!

Me: *laughs*

Rourk: *hands over hips* Well, I didn't mean to!

Tor: Lilly's soooo impressed....*sarcasm*

Rourk: *Sniffs boiling pot of soup on my stove*...s' that done yet?

Me: No...

Tor: You just had a sub, retard.

Rourk: *defensively*...yeah, but it was only a footlong...*Says the word 'footlong' as though it should explain why he's still hungry*

Me: *Raises eyebrows* Only? Wait! You never told me what was going on at Hildenbraun Castle!

Tor: *exasperated sighs*...Same ol' shit all the time. Corey gets a wild hair and morphs into Babezilla, Simon gets nervous because he's afraid she'll hurt somebody by accident, then she morphs back again and wants to throw that stupid ball...

Rourk: Tor's just mad cause Corey says it's formal only and that means that Tor'll have to wear a shirt. *Childish giggles*

Me: Shirts are a good thing...you might meet a girl, Tor...One that you can keep.

Tor: Screw that. Women are trouble. *Stares disapprovingly at Rourk*

Rourk: *Stops in place, holding a sandwich inches from his face while standing in front of my opened refrigerator door*...What? *Shrugs*

Me: Did I miss something?

Tor: Rourk's got a thing for Lilly! *laughs*

Me:*Stares at Rourk disapprovingly*...Theseus would have your head on a post, Rourk!

Rourk: I can handle Theseus...

Me and Tor together: *Crazy laughter, loud LOUD laughter*

Rourk: Well, I can!

Tor: Yeah, I can see it now! *wipes tears from eyes and laughs harder.

Me: Rourk, you never cease to amaze me! *slaps leg*

Rourk: *Grabs sandwich and heads to an Underworld portal in my kitchen wall* I'm taking this...*goes through portal with sandwich in hand*

Tor: See ya later, Author lady...*follows Rourk through the portal*

Me: *Sighs* Well, maybe next week I'll figure out what's going on at Hildenbraun...

What Am I Doing NOW?

2011-02-15T08:58:00.000-05:00

I know, it's been a while since I've given fans, readers, and gawkers (and haters) a chance to figure out what Rhiannon Mills-and ultimately, Kelly Shrewsbury-are up to, so I guess it's time for a catching up post. Sorry it's been so long since I've done this!

First of all, IMMORTAL EMBRACE is OUT. Thank goodness, because I thought I'd never get the ending right! Without help from my bestie, Jo, I would have never done it. Yes, I know, you hear that a lot from me. It's because some writers need a pusher. Joanna is my pusher. She's very good at it. She's very encouraging. Wait, I think I got 'encouraging' confused with 'demanding' cause she's the one that always says, okay, so you've got that chapter done. Why the hell aren't you working on the next one??? Gotta love an encouraging/demanding friend. Especially when she's only that way because she likes my work and wants me to succeed. Oh, and she hates to be left hanging, so I gotta keep on my toes to keep her satisfied. Thanks Jo.

Reviewer, Kelly Shrewsbury...

Kelly Shrewsbury (one side of me lol) has also been reviewing toys left and right. Really, I have no time for anything. I've also been reviewing my butt off. Not only am I behind in my book review schedule, I'm thinking of extending it because I have so many books in my lineup. Seriously. I don't know where some women find the time! These days you can find me with a bottle of lube in one hand for a review, a book in the other for a review, at my computer-while reviewing the lube and book-typing with my toes...I'm talented like that. That being said, if you're an author and are tapping your feet at me to get your review done, rest assured, I'm working on it. If you get too impatient, though, I take stars away for that...just sayin...

However, you should know that submissions for reviews are closed, unless you have a kick-ass paranormal romance. Paranormal romance submissions are always welcomed regardless of submissions being opened or closed. Erotica is also always welcome, too, but when submissions are closed I'll only accept short stories and novellas. Full length novels have to wait for submissions to open again. Unless you're Elizabeth Black...her stuff is always welcome no matter what. Yes, I'm horrible. However, it's my brain and my eyes and I like her work; she's a favorite. Get over it.

Author Rhiannon Mills...

Author Rhiannon Mills is actually really busy these days, too. She's writing like a mad woman, trying to finish fleshing out IMMORTAL LUST, book three in the Immortal Series. I would call it a trilogy, but I'm really not certain that it's going to stop at just three books. I know, I know...practice restraint, right? But, I really can't restrain myself. My characters are really great in the entire series. They need to breath life. No one else can give that to them, so that means I have to do it. Have to. No choice.

I'm also working on a few other side projects that have absolutely nothing to do with the Immortal books. I'm fleshing out a pirate adventure. I have worked through the main plot points, but am having trouble with the leading lady. Ya see, she's a lot like me, and unlike some authors, I can't just base a character on me and write her easier than someone I made up. I second guess myself far too much when I do this, more than when I write about made up people because I want to figure myself out. Does that make sense? Nah, I didn't think it did. Nonetheless, that's why I am having trouble with her. Bitch...I hate it when characters don't do what I want them to.

The Demon King...

Sci-fi fans, I'll tell you this much about my sweet Demon King. It's been a long time coming with him! Rest assured, Draken and Willow haven't died and gone to the slush pile. As a matter of fact, I'm looking into some different avenues, different ways to take Draken and Willow's story to a whole new level. I'm thinking graphic novel...but, I need artists for that, and I'm looking into it. No pressure, okay! I know it's been a long time since you've heard from this particular manuscript, but it's my favorite project and I'm taking it to its full potential.

This story, for those of you who have no clue, has it all. There is the thick sci-fi influence, but also horror and romance. In honesty, I began this story as an attempt at my first erotica piece. Didn't work. I ended up writing about demons in the Underworld instead. Willow is the heroine in the story, and she reminds me a lot of myself, but mostly of my older sister. She's a cutter, too. Neither myself nor my sister are or ever were cutters, but Willow is. She's also very talented and has a past that would make you cry, scream, and run for the hills...all at once! Draken is The Demon King, and he wants Willow's powers. See how a romance can unfold there? He's also sorta ruthless. Okay, not sorta. He is ruthless, among other things. He'd kill you rather than look at you if he's in the right mood. See how that would be difficult for a woman to get used to?

Contact me dammit...

Busy woman these days...

If you need to contact me concerning a book or toy review or would like help choosing items or shopping at Good Vibrations, you can always email me at KellyShrewsbury@gmail.com and I'll be happy to help you. Remember, my review schedule is posted in my blog so it's pretty full. As far as toys go, however, I'm always available for help if you need it. Don't be shy. It's confidential!

Sexcessories Kit for Lovers...

2011-02-08T16:40:00.001-05:00

This kit will make your erogenous zones sing. No joke. The Sexcessories Kit is well worth the online trip to Good Vibrations.

Lemme break it down for ya.

You Get...

1. Devour Me Lickable Oil in Strawberry Kiss
2. Lust Dust in Honey Vanilla
3. Super Hot Sex Deck cards
4. Risque Rollers Dice

That means four items that will spark some interest in your sheets that hasn't been there for a while. That's not to say that your sheets haven't been given their due for the past while. It just means that you've been missing out on something really awesome. Well, a lot of things really awesome.

The best part of this kit is, no doubt, the Super Hot Sex Deck of cards that you get. This deck is not small by any means. The deck itself is really thick, and there are a million cards in there. There are four sections of cards in there: Lust Lessons & Fantasies, Get Kinky, Show Off, and Play Dirty. Inside the deck there is also a little fold out card that gives you some really naughty hints and tips for how to use this deck. Personally, I just picked a card randomly and ran with it the first time. The second time, I'd already had one picked out. Next time I use these cards, I'm going to plan out an extravagant game, one I'm working on making up myself that involves a sexy gypsy costume.

The Devour Me Lickable Oil (Strawberry Kiss) is awesome. I know you've heard me rave about this stuff before, but in case some of you weren't listening, I'm going to rave about it some more. It's very tasty. You use one little drop and it goes a very, very long way. It smells good. Oh, and it's great as lube, massage oil, to use with toys, to use without toys, with a partner, alone-whatever you wanna do with it.

The Lust Dust (Honey Vanilla) is awesome too. When you open it up, there's a little powder puff in there very reminiscent to the ones you get with women's compact foundations. This stuff smells good, too! Not only does it smell good, but it tastes good. And it smells good. Did I mention that it smells good? Cause it really does.

Risque Roller Dice are great for a lot of things. You only need one per person, so each of you can choose a color. If the black one lands on Penis or Clitoris, the red one lands on chest, and the gray one lands on suck...well one of you is sucking a chest and the other is sucking genitalia. That can be kinda fun all on its own...

Rhiannon's Rating: <3 <3 <3 <3 Four hearts!

Rhiannon's Tips & Suggestions: Buy this kit in anticipation of a special event. Take the deck of cards out of the wrapper first, chose three or four to start your night out (maybe even one from each section) and set the dice, Lickable Oil, and Lust Dust on your bedside table for easy access. This is where the fun starts!

My first kiss and first love...

2011-01-31T11:30:00.000-05:00

Since, as part of my Valentine give-away, I'm asking everyone to describe to me their first kiss OR their first love, I'm going to share mine with you.

My first kiss...

First thing's first. My first kiss was actually in kindergarten and I don't remember it. So, I'm going to move along to my first real kiss instead. I was pretty young. Actually, thirteen I think. Age doesn't matter much, but it bothers me that I don't remember that detail of such a big event in a girl's life.

The boy was about two years older than me, if I remember correctly. I was sitting in a chair facing him. That smooth, suave, sweet talking boy was telling me how pretty I was, how pretty my hair was, how great my eyes were-even going on to tell me that he loved how I sort of looked like a doe in the headlights-and then he leaned over in his chair, which was facing mine, and planted a nice, soft kiss on me.

I was absolutely enamored from that point on. I didn't think it was gross, as some do at first. I wanted more, more, more, MORE. That's typical for a young teenager, I guess. I was ready to join some of my other, more experienced, friends in the make-out parties and things like that after he kissed me.

As for the boy, I never saw him again. I don't know whatever happened to him. It was a chance meeting to begin with. I barely remember his first name!

My first Love...

My first love was somewhat different. Love is a tricky thing! I ended up marrying mine, and giving him five children, four surviving. I met him when I was still in diapers. His parents lived right across the mountain from my grandparents, and had for years. I remember the story that both my mom and mother in law love to tell so much about how I had decided at three years old that we were getting married one day. He was four. He screamed and ran in the opposite direction, but I didn't care. I chased him anyhow.

In kindergarten, I got in trouble for kissing him on the school bus. My parents never let me live that down. I moved to North Carolina that year, too, so we didn't see each other again until I was fourteen. We met up at my grandpa's funeral, actually. I wasn't very impressed with him, though. I moved in with my grandma to keep her company and my parents stayed in North Carolina.

For another year, I went on as though he didn't exist. I was completely aloof. I had no clue that he watched every move that I made on the bus to school or that he had told one of his friends, who is still a close friend of ours today, that he was going to capture me one day and keep me.

When I started high school-he was a year ahead of me-I still ignored him. Not that I meant to, I just didn't notice him. His younger brother and I were in the same grade and there were some days his brother would come over to my grandmas house for me to tutor him, but as far as Allen went (that's my husband's name) I still could have cared less.

Then, one day in the ninth grade, he sat with me on the bus. It was March 9th, I think. Maybe the 10th. I don't know, I'd have to check my old journals from back then. Anyhow, he sat with me on the bus and put his hand on my knee. There I was, doe eyed again, and ready to knock him in the floor. I didn't, for the record. Instead, I smiled at him, blushed, and laid my head on his shoulder.

Some time at the end of ninth grade, the beginning of tenth grade, we broke up and I ended up totally enamored with someone else. TOTALLY enamored. But, Allen came back from timbucktoo, and we ended up together again and I SLOWLY forgot the other boy. I married Allen because I loved him very much, and we're still married nearly ten years later. I would say that's the end of the story, but it's totally not. We're still young...

Bleeding From the Outside In

2011-01-30T16:53:00.000-05:00

And it's hopeless and frightening out there

It just feels like a chill's in the air

Makes me feel like we're going nowhere

Cause there's no one who'll ever compare

to you

Intervening as time often does

Thinking how things all this once was

Believing it's okay because

Time has captured me and thus

You're gone

Bleeding from the outside in

When will this pain ever end?

Conceived in good faith when

The iron was hot can

we love again?

I'm bleeding from the outside in

Comparing myself to no end

I believed everything would amend

I thought I'd relive it again

with you

But thinking is never enough for me

Believing is for the weak

Just have to know we'll never be

Again cause it hurts to just think

without you.

A candy kiss for your clitoris!

2011-01-28T19:55:00.000-05:00

Often at Good Vibrations I find some phenomenal toys and things to brighten my day. The BonBon Natural Contours Vibrator is so great for so many different reasons!

The raised nob on the front (see pic above) is how you turn it on. Or how it turns you on, rather. There are three speeds to this vibe, like so many others, but the beauty part of it is that there's also a pulsating mode that it goes into. Dear Sex Goddess is that pulsating mode ever a wonder invention!

I would recommend this to get you warmed up. I would recommend this to get you off, period. I would recommend it with a partner, without a partner, with a good porn, without good porn, on the bed, off the bed, in the floor, in the closet, out of the closet, with green eggs and ham, without green eggs and ham, Sam I Am...Get it? It goes good with everything.

The shape is perfect. I've never seen a sweeter chocolate trouffle before in my entire life! It fits into the palm of your hand, so the pointed top of the thing fits perfect to your clitoris. Yeah, put that in your palm and pulsate it! HA HA! Get it? Get it? The joke...eh, never mind. The point is, you really can't get much better than this.

It comes with a small bag, too. The vibrator fits in the bag. There's a concept to this. If it has a bag, it must be easy to travel with, right? Yeah, now you're getting to where I'm going with my point. It's small. It will fit into your purse.

Rhiannon's Rating: <3 <3 <3 Three awesome hearts! YAY!

Rhiannon's Tips & Suggestions: This vibrator is a great one to warm you up. I would use it alone, however, rather than with a partner. Not because I don't want to share, but because it's just better suited for self-love. Couple this with your favorite lube. Oh, and it's not waterproof. Keep it out of the water if you want to keep it for a really long time, okay? It's water-resistant. Not submersible. Limit it to washing it after your session and lubing during your playtime.

Blindfolding your love...

2011-01-28T19:35:00.000-05:00

One of the coolest things about reviewing adult toys is that sometimes you come across an item that just speaks for itself. Those are the items that you might overlook from time to time because you don't realize their potential as a bedroom aide. Trust me, you don't want to make that mistake with these Soft Blindfolds.

They're perfect for Valentine's Day, which, by the way, is only in a few more weeks.

There are a lot of reasons why I wanted to review this item in particular. Number one, you can only review so many vibrators and dildos (items shaped like a penis) before people start wondering what on earth it is that you do in the few hours that your kids are at school. Number two, I like pink and black soft things. And it just so happens that Good Vibrations offers these blindfolds in both pink and black. Nuff said, there.

They're also very bendy. Duh. They have an elastic band and the part that goes over your eyes is just to die for as far as the way it feels against your face. Or someone else's face.

Rhiannon's Rating: <3 <3 <3 <3 Four hearts! Woo hoo!!!

Rhiannon's Tips & Suggestions: It would do you good to use this as a part of a surprise for your lover. Don't use them AS the surprise, but as you're leading them to a surprise. Lead them into a set stage, so to speak. Blindfold them when they walk in the front door. Lead them into your bedroom where you've lit scented candles, thrown silk flower petals over the sheets, and got soft music playing. Strip them down yourself while they're still blindfolded, and then give them an award winning massage with lots and lots of lubes and anything that smells good and tingles the senses.

Valentines Day GV Gift Guide

2011-01-28T17:56:00.001-05:00

Make your lover say Mmmmmmm.....

Valentines Day is vastly approaching, and I know for a fact you're all wondering how to celebrate it this year. So, being the good sexpert that I am, I'm going to help you. I'll take all the guess work out of it, and give you a blow-by-blow...literally, if you want it that way.

As we near closer to the big day, Good Vibrations has taken the holiday with gusto, adding several really awesome products to their site that can really, really make for an interesting holiday this February 14th. The great thing about this is that you don't have to spend too much to get the best bang for your buck. Really.

Sexy Suggestion #1- Check out the Savor the Moment Kit. This kit ensures that your Valentines night will be an unforgettable one, even if you're alone-hey, single folks should celebrate, too!

This kit includes the Butterfly Kiss vibrator that we all know and love so well, Best Women's Erotica 2011-a collection of highly erotic tales penned by women-which, in my opinion, is a must have for a Valentines Day alone, and also slippery Frolic Lube-and that lube is non-staining!

To get the best out of this kit, I would suggest that you start with the reading first. Get yourself ready for the greater things to come. When you're ready and slightly aroused, grab the lube. Then, the vibe....

Sexy Suggestion #2- Try the Sensual Sampler Kit.

This kit has it all. Everything you could hope for, save for the penis and/or vagina, is included here. You will get:

1 Knead Me Massage Lotion .5 oz
1 Devour Me Lickable Oil .5 oz
1 Touch Me Massage Oil .5 oz
1 Lust Dust Edible Body Powder 20 ml
2 Mini Rub Me Massage Bars 1 oz each
1 Ignite Me Massage Candle 1 oz
1 Smooch Me Lip Lube 1 oz

My suggestion here is that you start your night with this kit out by setting the scene...Try some deep red silk sheets. Set the two Mini Rub Me Massage Bars out on the pillows, light your Ignite Me Massage Candle, and then take your partner to the tub/shower to get things kickin' and heat your night up. After the shower, use the Knead Me Massage Lotion, the Lust Dust Edible Body Powder, and the Smooch Me Lip Lube. Once you're done playing in there, take it back to the bedroom to wet your partner's goodies with the Devour Me Lickable Oil. Trust me, you're night just starts here. Use your imagination for the things you can get into next!

Sexy Suggestion #3- Dear Sex Goddess, it's about time we have something like the Sqweel Oral Sex Stimulator!

I don't know who invented this little contraption, but I'd like to kiss them right now. On the lips. With some awesome tongue action in there, too.

Do I really have to tell you why this thing is so darned great? Cause, I think it's pretty self explanitory. Check out that wheel of little tongues there... I can think of a million things to do with this thing, and about a million more places you can stick it. Or, hold it. Wait, how would you word this?

Get some lube for this one. Lube your goodies up, hold it to where you're comfortable, sit back, relax, and cum...That's really all there is to it. Even a cavewoman could do it...Couple this thing with your favorite vibe, and you can just thank me via email later.

Sexy Suggestion #4- Get this and think about it later. The BonBon Toy Mount makes me think of one thing, and one thing only. Yippy Kay Yay!

The coolest thing about this thing is that it fits any dildo or vibrator you have in your collection. So, if you have a favorite toy, you can match it to the mount because it comes in several colors (see the dots in the picture? Yeah, those are your choices!).

My suggestion here is that you mount it with pride, ride it with reckless abandon, and for Pete's sake, lube the dildo/vibrator before you hop on the awesome thing...

Oh, and this thing is microsuede, which feels soooo good against bare skin when you've got it between your thighs!

Sexy Suggestion #5- The Afternoon Delight Kit.

This kit includes:

1 Waterproof Mini Bullet Vibrator
1 Lust Dust Edible Body Powder 20 ml
1 Knead Me Massage Lotion .5 oz
1 Smooch Me Lip Lube 1 oz
2 Please Lubricant Samples 5 ml each

This is a case of great things coming in small packages. Or great things cumming with small packages from GV. Whichever way you want to color it.

The Waterproof Mini Bullet Vibrator speaks for itself. Use it with the Please Lubricant Samples that you get with this deal. The lip lube is awesome to slather on your lips before a Valentine's Day pucker, blow job, or, um, whatever else you want to run your lips across. The Knead Me Massage Lotion is great for a rub down before or after the oral sex. And let's face it, Valentine's Day has a law that says oral sex is always included. Don't argue, just go with the flow!

This kit makes a great Valentine's date because it's diverse. You get a little bit of everything in it...

Sexy Suggestion #6- Nipple Pasties are the perfect way to let your partner know you want it.

Walk into the room with a silk robe on, drop it to your feet wearing nothing but the new heart-shaped nipple adornments, and I guarantee your partner will be hot and ready for you in no time. Nothin' says lovin' like a great pair of tits with hearts across 'em!

If you look at the photo of these awesome little trinkets, you'll note that they're small (duh), so you can do a lot with them. You can put a pair on and save the rest for later. Or you can paste them all over your body in various places.

Try this: You get two pairs of pasties. That's four, right? Wear one pair on your nipples. Then, using a magic marker, number the other two (1 and 2). Put them somewhere else on your body. You can even hide one behind your knee and put another on an ankle or somewhere else. Get a small slip of paper and cut it in half. Write "1" on the first one and write next to it "lick." Write "2" on the second half and write "suck" next to it. See where I'm going with this? Possibilities with these are endless...

Sexy Suggestion #7- Jockstrap Restraints. This makes for some interesting creations.

Here's what you do...

Restrain him. Restrain him and leave him sitting on the bed with his back resting at the head. Then you move to the foot of the bed, strip down naked as the day you were born, and pour massage oil on your shoulders, working it down to your ankles. Make him watch! You can rub your favorite vibrator all over your body as an extra tease. Again, use your imagination. I'm not giving all my secrets away!

Sexy Suggestion #8- Sweetheart I Rub My Duckie Junior Vibe.

Not sure how you guys see it, but this thing is absolutely adorable. And I like my toys to be visually attractive as well as stimulating. Diverse toys are happy toys.

Here is the GV description of this toy:

"This pearly-white fashionista duckie sports a Swarovski crystal beak jewel and a glamorous feather boa, but is not too fancy to get down to business -- the cute and romantic little femme is a fun, discreet vibrator! Waterproof (but take the boa off before you float, or it'll get bedraggled), and comes in a romantic ornament-style heart-shaped storage container. A perfect gift!"

This particular toy is one that I would suggest as a wrapped gift, not the kind of gift that you enjoy together right away. Wrap it up with a red silk scarf as a bow. Leave it in the bathroom for your lady friend to find when she least expects it. Good idea to leave it with a card, so that she knows where it came from and that some stranger hasn't broken into her house to leave her vibrators. That's creepy.

When she finds her new gift and enjoys it for the first time, with you on her mind, the night to come will be an extremely rewarding because whatever she'd been expecting and planning for later will go right out the window, and instead she'll just fuck your brains out. Win-win situation.

Sexy Suggestion #9- Buy the Fancy Me Sampler Kit for a night filled with screaming orgasms, and just thank me later.

It's absolutely chock full of things that make your bumping and grinding a lot more memorable for Valentine's Day. Seriously, you'll think you'd died and gone to Fuck Me Heaven. For the small price, you get everything that you need for a great night in.

This kit includes:

Sooth Me Bubble Bath
Touch Me Massage Oil
Knead Me Massage Lotion
Rub Me Massage Bar
Ignite Me Massage Candle

The beauty part of this is, you don't have to have much of an imagination to turn your partner on with this kit. It's pretty easy to figure out, and in turn, you'll impress her/him. That's always a good thing.

Sexy Suggestion #10- Risque Valentine Candy Hearts

Ladies and fellas, this is only $5. Don't be a cheap-o. Couple this with something else, too.

These are a classic Valentine's Day treat coupled with really different messages than the ones that you got when you were a kid. Instead of handing your partner a little candy heart that says "Be Mine" and batting your eyelashes at him, hand him one that says "Eat Me" and lay spread eagle in front of him, ready to take what you deserve.

Here's another awesome idea. Pair this in a nice basket with the Sweetheart I Rub My Duckie Junior Vibe (#8 above). Can't go wrong with candy and vibrators.

Sexy Suggestion #11- Whipped Topping Kit

This kit says it all to a lover. It tells them that you mean business. It tells them that you can't wait to get your hands on them. Or that you can't wait to let them get their hands on you. Either one works just as well with this.

The kit includes: The Intima Silk Blindfold, Etherea Silk Cuffs, Sensua Suede Whip, and Nipplettes vibrating nipple clamps.

I don't know where on earth you could go wrong with this. Everything you need to tease, bind, stimulate, and please your partner is included here.

Extra Things You Might Want...

With your gifts and plans for the big V-Day in mind, there are a few extra things that you might want to include in your sex toy shopping excursion. Like condoms and lube, for one thing. No woman or man on this earth wants chafing to be included in the festivities and gift giving. At least none that I've ever met...And no one likes chlamydia for Valentine's Day either.

Hathor Aphrodisia Lickeurs Lube is perfect for Valentine's Day. There are hearts on the front of the tubes! This stuff is not sticky or stringy. This thick gel formula works well for both vaginal and anal play. Available in Coconut Orange, Chocolate Strawberry and Hazelnut Caramel. Can't go wrong with this.

For a condom selection, go for the Whole Kit and Caboodle Pack.

This pack contains EVERYTHING. Here's the GV description:

"Wet or dry, clear or colored, tasty or taste-free, larger or smaller, super thin or slightly thicker, smooth or studded, with ribbed ridges or a pleasurable pouch, this Whole Kit and Caboodle Pack contains just about every condom we carry."

If you didn't see anything here that you thought you might like, feel free to email me at KellyShrewsbury@gmail.com anytime and I'll get with you within 24 hours. I'd be more than happy to talk to you on a more personal level to help you find that perfect gift, anything you might be looking for.

If you'd rather peruse it alone, you can find many, many things at Good Vibrations.

One last thing...

Right now at Good Vibes there are several things going on! Here are just a few of the great promotions that you should take advantage of:

Jan 31, 2011: Get a FREE Strawberry Kiss Devour Me Lickable Body Oil and FREE UPS Domestic Ground shipping with any order of $65 or more.

Feb 5, 2011: Get a FREE Easy Glider Vibrator with any purchase of $100 or more.

Feb 12, 2011: Get $10 off any purchase of $75 or more.

Happy Shopping!